Free space
Hey everyone. 👋 I am a new member. This is my 2nd day here. Just creating a space to be free and let go of my thoughts, just get them out so I don’t have to hold onto them anymore. All are welcome. Lately I’ve been really struggling with this issue that happened at work that could’ve cost me my job. This is my first job out of college. I am young, new and have trouble saying no and creating boundaries with coworkers, I’m still learning proper workplace etiquette. I trust people too much, live on the bright side, and have a hard time accepting when bad things might be happening or when people might have bad intentions. I love connecting with new people. I always like to give people the benefit of the doubt and prefer to look at the good in people, so much so that more often than not it blinds me to the bad. A person in a much higher position than me almost took advantage of this. It looks like I should be in the clear, but am still recovering from the shock of the incident. When it happened at work I was physically shaking because I was so terrified. And then spent the next 2 days after the incident on my days off barely able to move or eat or look at myself. It caused me to find this platform and so glad I found it because I think I would have fallen apart. The incident was so traumatic for me to the point that it was physically paralyzing and debilitating. I care so much about my job, I love what I do. But I always think there is someone out there that could do my job better, that I’m the bad apple in the bunch. I beat myself up over every mistake and hurt myself more than anyone else ever could. I have a hard time believing I am enough for others and for myself. I often believe I am useless, worthless and don’t deserve anything. I am a work in progress, just needed to vent. I’m sorry for how negative this all is. I’m usually a positive person but needed to get this out.
So things are looking up today. I think I’m in the more than likely in the clear regarding the situation I was talking about earlier and am feeling a lot better. I just know that I have to make boundaries so that this doesn’t happen again. I didn’t talk to any of my family or friends about it, I talked to people on here. And I just realized that whenever something serious is going on in my life, I’m much more comfortable talking to people I don’t know rather than people that know me well. And I just wonder why, It’s just strange to me why I work this way. It sounds like it shouldn’t make sense.
Constantly feeling inadequate in work and life in general. Every single mistake I make I take hard. I never feel enough and just place myself beneath everyone and everything. I know I shouldn’t feel this way but I let my circumstances, situations, and the people around me define who I am, and I’m tired of it. And oddly, I also think this is selfish and conceited of me. Does anyone have any insight on this or tips on getting over this feeling of inadequacy? Any and all comments are appreciated. Thanks.
