Hello again
Hello again, negative and apathetic feelings. I'm totally glad you're back.
Seriously, can you like, oh I don't know, fuck off for a while and not come back?
I don't know what's worse. Trying to work through the reboot process from nofap or dealing with this crap. Hey, maybe one causes the other? I don't know. I'm just sick of this. I'm sick of everything. I doubt I'm ever going to have a love life much less feel loved by anyone else.
But I have my family, so it's all good. I guess.
You know what? Fuck everything today. I don't care. I don't want to care. I'm not going to care. Because nothing matters today. Nothing.
I can't connect with anyone because I don't know how. I just don't. I don't feel that innate ability to go out and seek people and enjoy it. I just can't enjoy it. Maybe when it's left to chance, sure.
I have never felt like more of a stranger to myself or to this world than I do now. Thats just it. I'm just a stranger. An insignificant stranger.
This is probably my negative nasty side talking. I've been feeling low ever since I rolled out of bed.
Sometimes I use to think being single was horrible until I realized I needed to focus on myself first before I focus my whole mind n life n soul onto me n someone I want to be with it gives you time to focus on the things you need to fix need to do need to change being to desperate isn't good either I'm not saying you are I'm just letting ya know that every one finds there loved one at all time any month any day and at any age I even seen elderly people find there loved one some one special in a nursing home and they get married it really just depends but this way lease its giving you a chance to mend things like improve your health improve yourself make yourself better recover from your past and troubling moments so that way when you do find the one you had enough time to focus on just you then you can focus your time on you and your special someone so you have more time for each other because you took time to focus on getting yourself help better and change a few things to help you don't fret to much have you tried dating sites things like those
