He's gone

On March 16th I found my love, my best friend dead. I was gone for 3o minutes. I tried so hard to wake him up. They told me he committed suicide. He was going to ask my dad if he could marry me on my birthday. We wanted to get married this year. We had been together for 5 years. His sister wants nothing to do with him or his property. So I am becoming responsible for whatever he owns. I haven't eve n put him to rest. So I'm lost. He was my only friend. I don't have anyone to talk to so I don't lose it. Some crazy crap I'm dealing with huh?