It's my birthday!

Hehe I turned 22 just 22 minutes ago...Im just sweaty and not really able to sleep at the moment. I JUST dyed my hair too which was pretty fun. I think i did do a little bit of my hair bleached before with the help of my sis maybe 6 years ago, and this time was much more freer for me and i actually like the results more than last time. Just feeling... Like a 6 out of 10. Last week was around a 3. I just couldn't. I hated everything and even though i saw all of my friends, who i actually reached out to and they reached out to me halfway, i still felt so so alone and like shit. I felt guilty for just saying how much pain (?) I'm in from just normal stuff like being in a dress and hating my body or being just either too invisible or too noticed. Idkidkidk I've been so lost for as long as i can remember and i dont know when I'll feel fulfilled and "right" ever, in my life.