KindEyes Personal Q&A
This will be my personal questions and answers in life. I'm putting it here so I can remember them, but hopefully, it can also help others too.
Disclaimer: These are all my personal answers so it might not suitable or relatable for all. These answers might change as I'm just an evolving human after all😝😝
Question:
Is it really possible to fully understand another person who's completely different than me? Where is the boundary between me and other people? Why are some people allowed within the boundary while others have to stay outside?
Answer:
Even if you can't fully understand someone, it's still meaningful to make an effort to communicate about your differences and to coexist peacefully. That communication probably comes with misunderstandings, a lot of wounds, and repeated mistakes. But if it's worth it and I'm comfortable with it, I can still try to get along with others in spite all of that🥰🥰
Question: Why do I feel tired with all the sudden changes lately?
Answer: It's because of what I'm doing + the mental flexibility I've been doing.
What I'm doing:
Constant need to shift gears, recalibrate, and stay sharp under pressure -> Creates mental flexibility: Burns energy to shift gears even when everything seems fine.
My brain has been running a marathon with new obstacles every few minutes and no clear finish line at sight.
How to reframe:
My feelings and experiences are valid. There's a lot of pressure to adapt instantly and hide any discomfort, but my well-being matters just as much.
Remember, it's okay to slow down mentally and acknowledge the exhaustion I'm feeling. I have the strength and resilience within me. Trust those inner resources.
How to give myself permission to slow down internally when changes occur:
Question: Is seeking instant joy the best approach when feeling overwhelmed?
Answer: Seeking instant joy isn't entirely bad. It's normal. Humans do it to cope with stress or when something goes well.
But the issue is, sometimes these "quick wins" don't fix the underlying feelings that caused stress. It's like a band-aid over a wound. They help for a short time, but then the wound can stay underneath if I don't address the cause.
Solution: Combining instant joy with slower deeper self-care.
Examples:
1. Impulsive Buying + Journaling: After making a small purchase, use the positive energy from that moment to fuel journaling.
2. Music + Stretching and deep breathing: Play music first as motivation before stretching.
Overall, can use the "treat myself first then...." mindset. Use the boosted to do something more grounded like deep breathing or writing.
Why this solution? To let go of the guilt to about needing "quick wins." They're not bad, they're just human. Combining them with slow-burn activities keeps balance so neither extreme takes over long-term.
Question:
Why do I feel frustrated to be perfect in work?
Answer:
I feel frustrated to be perfect in work because I want to do my very best at all times, and sometimes I feel anything less is failure. I also fear judgment from others, so there's extra need to "get it right" and avoid making mistakes that might make me feel bad. As a result, even small errors have a strong impact on my frustration level.
Solution:
Can try to ease the pressure of perfectionism at work:
1. Shift my mindset: Instead of thinking "I have to be perfect," reframe it as "Oh, nice progress." E.g., "If I make a mistake today, that doesn't mean I failed, it means I learned something new."
2. Set realistic expectations: Be honest with myself about what's achievable in one day, then break larger tasks into smaller steps so they feel less overwhelming.
3. Practice self-compassion after mistakes: When I slip up, acknowledge the emotion ("Welp, this is annoying"), then move on ("But this is not stupid or idiotic, I'm learning and that's okay, I can do it). No beating myself up🥰🥰