Life

Im a pre-Med college student, Im doing good in school and like my classes. I dont really eat much cause I dont get help from my family (they dont like me cause I dont want to be Christian and I smoke weed) and Im so hungry every night I go to sleep and its so draining. I have horrible mood swings were Im angry and mad for weeks and then all of a sudden Ill be in a euphoric state for about 4 days then go back to being mad and angry for a month. I hate it and its confusing. I dont know if I actually like my girlfriend or if Im just scared to be alone or if its my mood swings, either way I dont know if I like her or not. I feel very socially awkward and I try to avoid going in public, even going to classes is a struggle just cause i feel very weird. Everytime I leave my dorm all I can think about is coming back just so I can shut my door and not worry about the world. Lifes just idk and I wish I wouldnt wake up every morning