Marie's Diary
Hi there, I am 30 years old. I am from Panama. I love music, I draw sometimes too. I want to become a yoga teacher.
Hello... I slept a lot this weekend and well I am fine, a bit bored lately but oh well... I have things to do from now to Friday.. a schedule or something.
=)
Hello guys! I am feeling great. Today I drank coffee and had fried eggs and a papaya (a fruit) shake for breakfast. I took my meds.
Then I took a shower... a very productive morning I think. I woke up really early.
After that I translated a page from the book... I bought a few stuff I wanted and then took a nap.
Today I just realized how far I've come... I mean like, although I still fail a lot in making so much things, I don't need anyone reminding me. I know and I do it sooner or later but I do it. And I, even, feel bad if I feel I didn't do enough.
So I think that's great.. a great step to becoming a independent grown up.
Today I have a question for you guys, for you what is speak ill about others?
I am not clear about this topic, I mean when I say something "bad" about others with my friends mostly... it's my honest opinion, I don't have bad intentions. I don't say straight to that person because I don't want to cause a fight or hurt them. But I feel like I need to say it.
You know?
I feel the limit between venting and speak ill is very thin.
I'll appreciate if you share your thoughts. (Maybe I am just being harsh on myself)
Today I became really upset with my mom. I didn't say nor did anything against her. Just... having bad memories... hurtful.. old wounds, you know?
I am aware that I have to manage my anger and remember how to forgive for my own sake.
She wasn't being obnoxious with me, but still was hard to stand her. And I think I am feeling irritable.
Her voice, how she stares.. all annoys me.
It's hard to feel this way, it's not good I know. Feeling annoyed about everything, feeling hate. Certainly not pleaseant feelings nor good for the other person either.
I took a nap and before that I was telling myself bad karma will take care. She hurts herself treating others the way she treats us. I don't need to do more... she is causing bad things to herself and this kind of things.
I vent with a friend too and now here... How do you cope with anger?
Hey y'all. Today I am feeling down. Feeling like I don't want to do anything. At least I ate breakfast and drank my coffee and had my meds, right?
I just wish more people would ask me how are you and were truly willing to hear me out... I feel lonely I guess. =(
Not having nice feelings at all.
@Totheskyandbeyond - Hi. I'm Chiaro. We don't know each other yet, but I want to say that I hear you. So, if this isn't too forward of me - Would you like to tell me how you really are? I have time.
@Chiaroscuro1 Hey there. I hope you are doing fine. What do you want to know?
@Totheskyandbeyond - Mm, let me think. I usually do better when someone asks me a more specific question than just a general how are you. So... You want to try that? I think I'll start with:
Can you tell me about one good thing and one bad thing that happened the past week?
@Chiaroscuro1 Yeah sure we can try that.
Good thing: I had the will to study a little bit about the yoga postures although it's hard for me to start to do the tasks.
Bad thing: On April 9, I was feeling awful, it was a really tough day. I was feeling very sad because I felt like I've lost a friend so I felt lonely.
Your turn =)
@Totheskyandbeyond - I'm very sorry to hear that you felt like you'd lost a friend. Do you want to share more about what happened? The yoga sounds very positive. When I try to start something it usually helps me to start very small. It's easier for me.
Bad thing - One of my cats caught a bird today. Fortunately it doesn't happen often, but I really hate it when it does.
Good thing - Someone brought me chocolate mousse... Yum.
@Chiaroscuro1 mmm chocolate... and poor bird. Ok sounds reasonable little steps.
About my friend it's solved now =)
@Chiaroscuro1 Sorry if I sounded like to brief and to the point. Do you have any hobbies? What are some of your goals?
@Totheskyandbeyond - No, it's no problem at all. I'm very glad to hear the situation with your friend is sorted out. Some of my hobbies include drawing and writing. One of my goals is to create a website for our local support group. You?
@Chiaroscuro1 Heyy that's cool. I like drawing and writing too. Portraits or landscapes?
My goals keeps being the same really, translating and yoga basically. I am trying to safe energy as well. =)
I am a listener in here as well for I know how is to feel lonely and / or depressed and feeling like you don't have anyone to go to.
I already finished the courses to become a yoga teacher... there are other requirements though.. social service, classes with the teacher and classmates and the final exam
I would like to drink tea more and make it a habit
I haven't do drugs like ever... I just like coke and coffee
and well the medicines.. but nothing illegal
I don't smoke either, my mom does.
I am veggie.
My brother is marrying Sussie! And having a baby boy!.. No name yet
I am learning to play chess
I use an app called Duolingo and I learn french with the app.
04-15-2019:
Activities today:
In the morning same as always, breakfast (fried tortillas made of corn), coffee and medicines. After that I ask for the medicines I needed, then took a shower meanwhile the cellphone was charging. Then it was lunch time, it was really yummi the lunch. I went to pay the cellphone and then straight for the medicines. Now I am here, I was thirsty after all that. I enjoyed waiting for the medicines, I was prepared and the cell was charged and with my headphones I listened music until I was called. I checked all was alright with the medicines, that were the right ones and the right amount. I came back and I thought about taking a nap but nah I'll pass.
Emotions:
The morning was alright, just a little annoyed at the lunch when my mom asked me if I already went to pick up the medicines, I feel pressure. Also, thankful I had something to do outside my apartment and satisfied for making all the tasks.
I enjoyed listening music while waiting and well now it's 2:57 pm from now on it will be spare time I think.
Also, I am quitting coke, slowly but for sure.
Another thing about me it's that I have OCD I think and hope that is a light version but yeah I have a bit. Odd thing is that is usually in my apartment, outside it's unsual.
My first language is spanish!
I seldom talk about afternoon because I tend to write this on mornings.
I has been called rude many times by many people and it affected me a lot yesterday. I wonder if I was that despicable...
Rude according to the dictionary = someone that lacks education or tact.
Well sometimes I think there's very few people you can really tell them how you are feeling or thinking about something they do or say without taking it as an offense. They want a shallow relationship, I think. They don't like the vulnerability of opening up.
I am so eager for a real relationship.
Hello there. I am feeling demotivated and sad today. I wish I could talk to a listener but they are not available it seems. =(
