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Marie's Diary

User Profile: Totheskyandbeyond
Totheskyandbeyond December 19th, 2018

Hi there, I am 30 years old. I am from Panama. I love music, I draw sometimes too. I want to become a yoga teacher.

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User Profile: Totheskyandbeyond
Totheskyandbeyond OP March 25th, 2019

Hello... I slept a lot this weekend and well I am fine, a bit bored lately but oh well... I have things to do from now to Friday.. a schedule or something.

=)

User Profile: Totheskyandbeyond
Totheskyandbeyond OP March 25th, 2019

Hello guys! I am feeling great. Today I drank coffee and had fried eggs and a papaya (a fruit) shake for breakfast. I took my meds.

Then I took a shower... a very productive morning I think. I woke up really early.

After that I translated a page from the book... I bought a few stuff I wanted and then took a nap.

Today I just realized how far I've come... I mean like, although I still fail a lot in making so much things, I don't need anyone reminding me. I know and I do it sooner or later but I do it. And I, even, feel bad if I feel I didn't do enough.

So I think that's great.. a great step to becoming a independent grown up.

User Profile: Totheskyandbeyond
Totheskyandbeyond OP March 28th, 2019

Today I have a question for you guys, for you what is speak ill about others?

I am not clear about this topic, I mean when I say something "bad" about others with my friends mostly... it's my honest opinion, I don't have bad intentions. I don't say straight to that person because I don't want to cause a fight or hurt them. But I feel like I need to say it.

You know?

I feel the limit between venting and speak ill is very thin.

I'll appreciate if you share your thoughts. (Maybe I am just being harsh on myself)

User Profile: Totheskyandbeyond
Totheskyandbeyond OP April 2nd, 2019

Today I became really upset with my mom. I didn't say nor did anything against her. Just... having bad memories... hurtful.. old wounds, you know?

I am aware that I have to manage my anger and remember how to forgive for my own sake.

She wasn't being obnoxious with me, but still was hard to stand her. And I think I am feeling irritable.

Her voice, how she stares.. all annoys me.

It's hard to feel this way, it's not good I know. Feeling annoyed about everything, feeling hate. Certainly not pleaseant feelings nor good for the other person either.

I took a nap and before that I was telling myself bad karma will take care. She hurts herself treating others the way she treats us. I don't need to do more... she is causing bad things to herself and this kind of things.

I vent with a friend too and now here... How do you cope with anger?

User Profile: Totheskyandbeyond
Totheskyandbeyond OP April 8th, 2019

Hey y'all. Today I am feeling down. Feeling like I don't want to do anything. At least I ate breakfast and drank my coffee and had my meds, right?

I just wish more people would ask me how are you and were truly willing to hear me out... I feel lonely I guess. =(

Not having nice feelings at all.

1 reply
User Profile: Chiaroscuro1
Chiaroscuro1 April 11th, 2019

@Totheskyandbeyond - Hi. I'm Chiaro. We don't know each other yet, but I want to say that I hear you. So, if this isn't too forward of me - Would you like to tell me how you really are? I have time.

1 reply
User Profile: Totheskyandbeyond
Totheskyandbeyond OP April 11th, 2019

@Chiaroscuro1 Hey there. I hope you are doing fine. What do you want to know?

1 reply
User Profile: Chiaroscuro1
Chiaroscuro1 April 12th, 2019

@Totheskyandbeyond - Mm, let me think. I usually do better when someone asks me a more specific question than just a general how are you. So... You want to try that? I think I'll start with:

Can you tell me about one good thing and one bad thing that happened the past week?

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User Profile: Totheskyandbeyond
Totheskyandbeyond OP April 13th, 2019

I am a listener in here as well for I know how is to feel lonely and / or depressed and feeling like you don't have anyone to go to.

I already finished the courses to become a yoga teacher... there are other requirements though.. social service, classes with the teacher and classmates and the final exam

I would like to drink tea more and make it a habit

I haven't do drugs like ever... I just like coke and coffee
and well the medicines.. but nothing illegal

I don't smoke either, my mom does.

I am veggie.

My brother is marrying Sussie! And having a baby boy!.. No name yet

I am learning to play chess


I use an app called Duolingo and I learn french with the app.

User Profile: Totheskyandbeyond
Totheskyandbeyond OP April 15th, 2019

04-15-2019:

Activities today:

In the morning same as always, breakfast (fried tortillas made of corn), coffee and medicines. After that I ask for the medicines I needed, then took a shower meanwhile the cellphone was charging. Then it was lunch time, it was really yummi the lunch. I went to pay the cellphone and then straight for the medicines. Now I am here, I was thirsty after all that. I enjoyed waiting for the medicines, I was prepared and the cell was charged and with my headphones I listened music until I was called. I checked all was alright with the medicines, that were the right ones and the right amount. I came back and I thought about taking a nap but nah I'll pass.

Emotions:

The morning was alright, just a little annoyed at the lunch when my mom asked me if I already went to pick up the medicines, I feel pressure. Also, thankful I had something to do outside my apartment and satisfied for making all the tasks.

I enjoyed listening music while waiting and well now it's 2:57 pm from now on it will be spare time I think.

User Profile: Totheskyandbeyond
Totheskyandbeyond OP April 16th, 2019

Also, I am quitting coke, slowly but for sure.

Another thing about me it's that I have OCD I think and hope that is a light version but yeah I have a bit. Odd thing is that is usually in my apartment, outside it's unsual.

My first language is spanish!

I seldom talk about afternoon because I tend to write this on mornings.

User Profile: Totheskyandbeyond
Totheskyandbeyond OP April 29th, 2019

I has been called rude many times by many people and it affected me a lot yesterday. I wonder if I was that despicable...

Rude according to the dictionary = someone that lacks education or tact.

Well sometimes I think there's very few people you can really tell them how you are feeling or thinking about something they do or say without taking it as an offense. They want a shallow relationship, I think. They don't like the vulnerability of opening up.

I am so eager for a real relationship.

User Profile: Totheskyandbeyond
Totheskyandbeyond OP May 1st, 2019

Hello there. I am feeling demotivated and sad today. I wish I could talk to a listener but they are not available it seems. =(