Modal0154: journal 3
I know who I am not interested in being friends with. I know doubly who I am not being friends with.
Que tendria que occurir para que uso otro journal?.
Cuando canceles un reservacion en un cuarto de piano y piesas que tables realmente hares algo con la guitara de tu hermano, aunque no exactamente es la primer cosa que viene a tu mente cuando se trata de jazz*.
*por que gustas Herbie Hancock
Maybe, after shaving and meditating. However long that takes.
@Modal0154
Si this is the part when the expectations, so this is the part when the pressures of a lifetime, of decades of exposure to Hispanic instrumentals come swirling in on me, intimidating me.
I'm still a f--g dilettante.
Me gustaria un brakeman hat.
Expediency is one reason for why I don't pull through w/a full translation, I admit.
Do you have any idea how infuriating it is to have done something a certain way for most of your life and be told 'you weren't doing it right'?.
Acerca de meditation and prayer.
I still have reservation about them* but will say that Brett and Eddy at least had some humility when they did this: https://youtu.be/gPtd6gVgKo8
*https://www.deviantart.com/polaris314/art/Effort-over-trust-828781561
@Modal0154
..reservation*s*..
Given an experience in October and reservations not only about invigilating when there are less than 3 ppl but also a certain name of someone who is more like an admin member than an instructor*, I feel more inclined to only invigilate for instances in which several invigilators are necessary.
This isn't quite** a daunting job but it is isn't really a job I can improve at through repeated exposure b/c of how 'irregular', it is..if I only invigilate 'just enough' that I'm not ignored come annual contract renewals, I would be content.
*and 'getting thrown under a bus' w/their strategy, if it's anything like the logistics I screwed up last October.
**though a graciously procedural and mainly uncomplicated task-oriented job
=_= .. same old problem as when I was a toddler..those rare moments where I have seeming relatively non-pressing to talk about and no responses/me getting ignored..it's as much of a drag in the chatrooms as with the old get-togethers with cousins.
>~< Wtd are ppl so criminally uncaring in explaining how 'mechanical'* our minds are at receiving instruction?..
*cognitively
Later that week is an instance where 4 invigilators are needed on the 27th..'sounds more promising' in that I like working in bigger groups..if it's run by the 'same model' as the admin person provided, if that 'model is being used more often'..that gives me anxiety for the future of holding the job.
To patience with awaiting on making a decision to invigilate as 1/4 on the 27th, late in the evening, presumably 'under the umberella' of an actual instructor.
If humanity is to survive the 'automation'* of procedural tasks can't be left alone b/c of uncaring attitudes..all that stuff from industrial revolution era philosophy about feeling alienated by work and feeling like a machine b/c of being put 'through the motions' so fast and so tirelessly, repetitively is going to kick us all in the face even faster b/c of the internet, even with the frivolities of the internet jacka-s.
*not out of necessity meaning machine based mechanical operation
"My young men shall never work, men who work cannot dream; and wisdom comes to us in dreams"
"My young men shall never work, men who work cannot dream; and wisdom comes to us in dreams. You ask me to plow the ground. Shall I take a knife and tear my mothers breast? Then when I die she will not take me to her bosom to rest. You ask me to dig for stone. Shall I dig under her skin for her bones? Then when I die I cannot enter her body to be born again. You ask me to cut grass and make hay and sell it and be rich like white men. But how dare I cut off my mother's hair."
--https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smohalla
