Modal0154: journal 3

When you know the area around city hall is destitute and it makes you wonder where the mayor* 'goes out to' eat during lunch time, or he might just have food 'sent to him'.

*b/c you doubt how they would bring a lunch from home.

Before I enter the gym

I have been active on a housing agency's waiting list since 2k18...'~'..I could have sworn it's only been since 2k19.

~'not complaining'*

The indeterminate waiting period I understand..I was told how when so ever an offer goes through the 'building provider' will be someone I will need to meet.

If I accept, the building provider will inform the agency of how the offer was accepted and I am taken off the list.

*

Lets be real here,

Going into this I was already not ignorant of how it can take years for social housing agency agency to result with something adequate. It probably took several to wind up in the thankfully just adequate townhouse for a family of 5, Iive in.

Now, Id like to think ..that b/c of different red-tape for one reason, there are different streams when it would come to social housing. Those who need shelter a.s.a.p. , ‘young families and single people.Fair enough for the priority given to ‘young families..

..whats a drag is thinking how the Venn diagram like overlap btw ‘those who need shelter a.s.a.p. and single (males of diverse age demographics) is a group I would likely fall into when it comes to treatment..

On the sheet of a dozen give a dozen or several more selections. There is ‘the omnious wildcard category of ‘various units.

It comes down to one thing **landlords are aware of social/subsidized housing programs** and are not as keen to yield locations to recipients/participants of such programs, from what I understand/assume of ‘the worst of the authentic working class experience'.

‘Curse the boomers for [adjectives and nouns of choice] b/c when it comes to contributions to less-than-painful ‘adulting..

https://youtu.be/UIR9Z_JdVhs?t=8m10s

~8:11-8:31

"

"Society I guess we send out this message where various things indicate that you've made it so if someone has
one of those things that make she'll never again need assistance."

"..and how does that make you feel?"

"I don't know. I've told people and they know and they still don't ask. People can know the facts but can't get past appearances"

Or there piggish callous indifference for that matter =_= ..

=_= Can you blame me or anyone else for that matter for validly obsessing about this?.

__

I called another agency and I signed with around the same time and am thankful for the person who responded baring with me even with issues hearing me on the phone and an apparent mix-up of my first and last name.

This is an agency which from what I understand actually bulds there own units (being a NP sort of O).

The fact that I even heard that person

Yes, even with high stakes stuff like this it would do my mental health good to learn to actually trust others/ not think they are always against me.

Relieved having read mainly 'so-so' Google ratings/reviews of the library I work at.

=_= Downright aggravating how commitment to a 'practise' can make things wind up coming off as deterministic or 'deterministic-control' instead of free will or 'free will-control'. The prioritization machine.

Heavy rain and my chances with the buses.

As usual w/out certain coworkers around I'm afraid of going to work b/c I might be 'pegged' by a certain 'higher up'.