Modal0154: journal 3

Cuando trato de hacer selecciones para a vegan diet I struggle to not think of an OT, I experienced transference for who was a vegan.

If Oliver Thorn, Mexie or Peter Coffin were to do videos on retirement homes a/o assisted living..

It could justifiably be said how my fixation w/ YouTube and the internet is a 'spin off' of having watched way too much TV as a child when I had undiagnosed autism and questionable functionality.

Understand that my experiences with the phrase 'buddy' being said with an unamicable attitude is one reason for me not liking it. I am Canadian*. I once knew someone with a cleft lip who actually had that as their name when I was younger--I am profoundly thnakful for them having bared with me when I chose to socialize in those early 00's days.

* =_= *sigh* niceness stereotypes..b/c rarely would ppl come to terms with how it's a bizzarre way the Anglophonic world 'flexes' about posturing about behaving like louts.

IPad is doing this weird thing where like half of a tab disappears =_= ..

Tiengo que llegar a terminos con como estoy aburrido cuando boy en pornografia.

Cancelled 'Office 365' subscription. Thankful to customer support.

Read this in Billy Crudup's 'Dr.Manhattan' voice..

I am having something of a crisis. I am having something of an internal crisis.

Without art..if I take a break from (visual) art..

I'm ambitious..I don't want an afterlife, I want a do-over..

culminated skill and experience b/c I undertook the kind of commitmant which makes for professional work on DA?: I have weakness to compare myself to that.

We live in a highly image saturated world and I don't only mean pornography..

Music is different..

The guitar doesn't interest me..pianos and keyboards are currently inaccesible and my music education from before I was 13 in functionally vanished from memory..so much as reading music theory goes though..I speculate inevitable frustration for not having access to an instrument que me gustaria.

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I risk more screen time, if I veered to poetry and goodness knows how I try/find it healthier to not use a screen much =_=..

hmm..'arrow-verse crack' YouTube videos..sounds amusing

Ppl are vulgar, ppl always expect anyone they come across to 'be entertaining'*, ppl sledom care or take anything seriously even though it's established from a deeply early age the immutable like things which you can barely functionally live without.

Stop not caring and commit already.

How can we feel that not everything is against us?. How can I feel that not everything is against me?.

All life is a bitter struggle..to protect what little 'safe zone' there ever was from risk and all it's ugliness.