Modal0154 journal: vol.IV
Speaking as someone who..lacks autonomy, speaking as someone who is autistic, speaking as someone 'fundamentally' friendless, speaking as someone who communicates, speaking as someone who struggles not to regret, speaking as someone unsure of resuming to read through what he wrote, speaking as someone bilingual, speaking as someone who has *a lot of issues* 'following his own voice', speaking as someone who 'doesn't do self-confidence', speaking as someone who 'doesn't do trust' neither intrapersonal or interpersonally w/uncompromising authenticity..
John Cage's idea of how silence is only an idea, intrigues/fascinated me..
how I wish to gush about it
Thankfully in this time, I can feel about more comfortable about so much as saying about my social assistance access existing before the quarantines. Social assistance agencies around the planet might have become more lenient but as also flooded/overwhelmed w/applicants I'd think, made more of a challenge by the eligibility of the vality of off-site work via internet etc.
That notion in indigenious cultures that land can't be owned or exploited but just 'watched over' b/c it's on loan from future generations...how many d--n prejudices would go away if taking kids more seriously, caught on?.
I think that when you 'code-switch' w/yourself and how you express things it's called self-censorship.
Todavia estoy aprendiendo acerca de transparencia.
Pity that some of the ppl I most seek to understand can also be the most flighty.
I think I can understand how women can forgive affair, relationship infidelity, pornography use et al if it's based on a person 'always coming back to what's true to their heart' instead of physical fidelity. Only physical fidelity.
I would think this doesn't really (remain(?)) the case w/nonmonogamous relationships. It's a big free world and takes all kinds to make it.
Romance instead of violence
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The idea of being in a relationship w/anyone more than 3 years younger than me makes me feel icky and hence in spite of societal fetishization of youth, I feel, I put pressure on myself to think older women attractive...
=__= .. never saw myself thinking that.
It's about those parts I, lilac lettered
"Imagination can be a DISEASE, the unleashing of murderous intent. Imagination can be born of cynicism and hatred, the absolute DENIAL of redeeming possibility...This Entity, the Antagon was of that kind. It served no other purpose other than to curse, scorn and annihilate.
These words are a record of the day it rose from its aeons-sleep and passed among us, erasing thousands of ordinary lives..And this is a--[issue title drop in different font]Journal of a Plague Year'
--'Animal man vol.1 issue #50', pg.7
written in Courier letter font by a movie director character while 'an ancient evil' is released and leaving a path of destruction
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Ahora para averiguar de cuanta mas horas de trabajo desde casa me cuedan.
However things settle out, not the least b/c of Trump's reelection campaign incoming, I can imagine how a properly made vaccine or such as COVID-19 is either going to get barely any attention or flare things up again provided that things 'settle down' on their own, somewhat.
My sister's compromises on my mind.
To think that certain endemics amplified, before germ theory was developed because of well-intentioned ppl gatherings like a religious services. It's remarkable if you think about it how on a global scale and not only w/ what checkered experience you have w/the nonsecular, that's it been agree upon w/civic vouching that such events be put on pause indeterminately even if it very much has a life or death importance to a fair amount.
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An unresolved thread w/'Animal man volume 1' was how did Ellen handled a/o get away from the editor who was living out the violent crime handling methods of his character 'the Penalizer' and what become of him.
Yet even in the Middle Ages, I would think that ppl would try to organize funerals of sorts for as long as they could..interesting how w/recognizing germ theory and understanding epidemology you can come to understand how part of the grieving process can't be a mourning ritual event b/c that might risk bringing about the possible cause of a fatality.
The mental health behind this..
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>_< Angry at myself for not remembering the one video ..
..when it comes to how COVID-19 can apparently very much spread into the range of billions..
..it's interesting how if something like that were to happen bringing about that many final changes/deaths and et al destruction or deterioration it's definitely not in an overt bombastic way like giants monsters throwing down, all the world over.
The prequel stories to the 'Godzilla Earth' anime Netflix specials
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4geo6O3pLgs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uS8Bcoz4oko
comes to mind
I like the fact that collectively we have self-control
..that it could be seen as an 'acheivement' by secularists that, that has actually been implemented without too much seeming pushback?.
Is it acceptable enough 'an acheivement' to secularists that, that has happened?.
No me gusta 'free to download, pay to use' apps.
Finding online Archie comics:
https://giphy.com/gifs/ever-handshake-manliest-MeUCS1EmbmMPC
Want to plug in 3 hrs of work minimum =_= ..