Modal0154 journal: vol.IV
Speaking as someone who..lacks autonomy, speaking as someone who is autistic, speaking as someone 'fundamentally' friendless, speaking as someone who communicates, speaking as someone who struggles not to regret, speaking as someone unsure of resuming to read through what he wrote, speaking as someone bilingual, speaking as someone who has *a lot of issues* 'following his own voice', speaking as someone who 'doesn't do self-confidence', speaking as someone who 'doesn't do trust' neither intrapersonal or interpersonally w/uncompromising authenticity..
John Cage's idea of how silence is only an idea, intrigues/fascinated me..
how I wish to gush about it
This https://youtu.be/74zGe7U-nec before I knew about a certain Stevie Wonder song.
Push-ups need to stop being a life-long enemy for me to better embrace exercise.
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The anniversary of my faltred Toronto meditation retreat is upcoming.
"Preferia ser un nino que in perro" line someone said to military officer/de facto druglord on 'Queen of the south'
I have enough time that I could attempt to understand stocks/high finance but I know my mental health enough that a silly-ily obsesssive part of me, will be going 'LEARN IT FASTER !!" while 'the high finance' world is apparently inactive. Much more inactive.
Arte, excel spreadsheet y teclando acerca de cosas que me occurio despues que regresaron mis padres y ese video de Ice Cube.
From what I understand there is like only a handful of staffed banks operating, it's like they take turns btw building rotating who is open. If it wasn't for a lack of access to a certain bill denomination I'd be fine w/the machines.
D-- how the YouTube app isn't working b/c I hate my mom watching schlock like 'Queen of the south'.
How lonely are ppl who posture as much as crime show or movie characters irl ?. Sans the cliques and dangerous ones at that, I mean it's already easy enough to wind up feeling lonely among other ppl when you got mental illness.
I hate reading YouTube comments or when ppl say ~'while [x] was still a sperm' b/c of not only how (i) ignorant it is to assign personhood to a gamete* but also (ii) b/c of how negligent it is of how a spermatozoa is only '1/2' of you b/c of the need for a female ovum.
;I b/c human parthenogenesis might only be applicable to Jesus.
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I'm 'expecting' my dad to arrive, not sober =~=