Modal0154 journal: vol.IV
Speaking as someone who..lacks autonomy, speaking as someone who is autistic, speaking as someone 'fundamentally' friendless, speaking as someone who communicates, speaking as someone who struggles not to regret, speaking as someone unsure of resuming to read through what he wrote, speaking as someone bilingual, speaking as someone who has *a lot of issues* 'following his own voice', speaking as someone who 'doesn't do self-confidence', speaking as someone who 'doesn't do trust' neither intrapersonal or interpersonally w/uncompromising authenticity..
John Cage's idea of how silence is only an idea, intrigues/fascinated me..
how I wish to gush about it
You don't achieve sunyatta in an evening.
Existential hedonism brand emptiness S---KS!!! =_=
Gj:
Looking through the options for online work--having picked out the easier Lynda courses
Internet access
Working computer which has taken a lot
Parts of the second floor being cleaned by my mom and sister
I'm becoming as hooked to 'blinding lights' as I am fond of 'what is love?
For realsies, during those rare instance of call centre work when I felt I could go stern on someone I would try to go for a **Kevin Conroy** Batman voice and for some reason these Tom Cruise scenes came to mind..
https://youtu.be/QE3yMEfpk6E?t=54 0:53-~+2:02
https://youtu.be/uMug9lL1Sgg?t=71 1:11-1:35
https://youtu.be/jimBqTJ-Ngw?t=143 2:23-2:30
As an overweight child, I hated the 'run,run as fast as you can. You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man" teasing line and looked forward to variations of the story where he had his ending in ways other than say being flipped on the snout of a fox crossing a stream.
No ill will to Gingy in the 'Shrek' movies.
@Modal0154
'The lion king' and Robert Munsch's 'Love you forever' both raised my awareness/obsession of mortality during the pre-double age years
W/the original 'Lion king' =u= me and how many others?. When it came to that specific Munsch book, for a longtime I thought to myself " >:I That ungrateful punk!" in regards to the treatment and care of the mom by the child, until the important change near the end.
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Gj: Leniency on online work
My aunt's presence
Pasta made (mainly(?)) by my sister
I hate how you can know the casualities for something but it doesn't change a situation
Not too nice memory of getting bombastically aggresive while w/a therapist or such.
* short of action, practise, aggravating unthanked-for-banalities -__- blah, blah, blah
@Modal0154
onto-banalities..
When journalism becomes advertising and maybe vice-versa
since learning about the looping function, I might not have to seek out 'x hour' long videos of say a song repeating
ⱽᵃᵖᵒᵘʳʷᵃᵛᵉ ᵏᵉᵉᵖˢ ᵐᵉ ⁱⁿ ˢᵗᵃˢⁱˢ
If need be, I could consider therapy online until things at the place I'm privileged enough to access have settled down in regards to public health. From what I remember from trying it once on another account you need to consider the number of days you have available plus what the therapist may tell you they have available as far as their schedule goes.
Is the phrase ~'stoner humour' even really applicable to the humour media landscape a la post-YouTube ?.
Feeling bad, feeling pity for the restless dogs which can't really go out for walks. Not only mine.
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"the platinum rule, in contrasted to the golden rule, invites us to treat people the way they want to be
treated, and we don't won't know that unless we increase our knowledge and understanding of differences"
--Mary Frances Winters