Modal0154 journal: vol.IV

@Modal0154

https://youtu.be/G7bCDBkrtjk ;]

Going to keep my head afloat 'til Thursday.

I hate thinking how even if I had to come to different decisions in my life^1 , something else would have gotten in the way which would have 'doomed me'^2 , basically.

^1 Most often having gone to another high school from the start

^2 Thoughts like that are the sort of thing which sounds like I'm unwittingly yielding to notions of determinism and cause me to fixate on a 'determinism v. free will self-debate..b/c there are times when merely 'being in control' isn't as fruitful as we'd want it to be and notions of 'non-control' or yielding to randomness or 'going w/the flow'/' no worries stated like that sounds like dangerous deludedness w/a hurricane of pain bound for it b/c of how aggravatingly risky 'yielding' to the intimidatingly infinite or at least 'finite ceasing' can be.

Nishida Kitaro on change and immutability: would like to quote

@Modal0154

W/ my mom having returned, so has certain eating habits. "When you consume more calories, than you burn, you gain weight": I am mindful of that, at a time when gyms are closed. The amounts I'm eating are not quite end-of-the-year-holiday amounts but they don't make me exempt from that adage.

___

'Sideways' did a good video explaining how there are sequels to 4'33'' after bringing up the difference btw film scores (the background music) and sound design (sound effects, mainly) and the production cycles in media when it comes to it

[after reading an email]

'_' Huh,..my current counselor being a university student has had his placement derailed b/c of current public health measures..it might mean that I could potentially 'click' w/a more interesting counselor.

This might sound ridiculous but sans the terrible loss of the baby, I feel like Jaha during certain 'season 1'(?) episodes of 'the 100' when everyone including the adults have left that space station everyone was living on and he's either trying to find his own way to Earth a/o doing 'last minute checks' on everything before trying to leave.

This https://www.hpl.ca/staff-updates

I recently called the library switchboard meaning to speak w/ HR but instead found myself contently speaking to a branch manager who I don't know. I was told how to check that one website would be best checked at and how everyone apparently sans branch managers will not be present and be working from home/online.

Being in what might be considered one of the few blue collar or substantially less red tape oriented positions of a page, I was puzzled. I was told how it would mean that webinars and online tasks would be made a/o brought up for review--stuff that essentially being made to keep everyone, keep continuing being paid. We're 'taking it day by day'.

I'm thankful for the branch manager baring w/hearing me out when it came to my worry that if things don't improve and pages are called in, if it'd be the sort of thing where there would be employees rightfully refusing work v. claims of negligience to tasks / duties sparking. She told me, how she would inform my regular branch manager.

*sigh* [~4 p.m. EST]

When you are enjoying yourself and getting a hang of doing collages but notice how in your inbox is something, maybe to the effect of 'online work' which was sent to you 2-3 hrs ago.

Last stupid thing, I think I'll do w/current public health interests: having picked up a somewhat damaged black pencil crayon while walking outside.

It's not that you should be afraid of [death, boredom, love] but be afraid of having forgotten certain things once you reached certain states/experiences.