Modal0154 journal: vol.IV

Something, something, self-compassion, averting self-blame

"True lasting happiness comes from helping others.The flipside of that is accepting help"-Osher Gunsberg

..basis of friendship

Possibilidad

If the 'Boss Smiley' story specifically were to be adapted in this Trump filled times..

Watching 'DC showcase presents: Death'..mega spoilers alert

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..the Phil Bourassa(?) animation like style is a nice way to make things more relevant and keep it consistent in contrast to say the somewhat grainy, standard 'rough and tumble' look of late 80's to mid 90's American comics which transitioned to a color saturated and quasi-cartoony look when I read through that series in compiled volumes, during maybe it's final three volumes-- it never looked like Bourassa's style, at any pt.

A struggling artist (Vincent) is fired for taking longer than expected to paint Arkham asylum's gate, goes to bar, leaving upset after seeing a fear-inducing figure bring up his failure in life before deciding to smoke a cigarette in an alley before the Jamie Chung voiced anthropomorphization of 'final changes' as an upbeat goth looking^1 girl w/a small top hat, walks up to him to chat about how he's doing. She gives him the top hat, leaves saying she'll see him again and says 'ready?' to someone outside a door w/police car lights behind them.

Switch to his art being commented on (by a teacher) in a bad way and that teacher apparently being one of the fearful figures he's seeing, him going home being berated by the same demonic like figure and a flashback to arguing w/his dad and his split w/his partner. He wakes up from his sofa and sees Death arguing w/some persons outside his window who are saying things along the lines of ~"who do you think you are?, you can't do this?' to which Vincent yells to leave her alone or else cops will be called

She smiles slightly at him..=u= the fact that he can see her and that this story is still going on, means something

He steps out of his residence, sees her and a passing ambulance before she thanks him for the vouching.

He brings her indoors to show her art which she comments on mostly unfinished and seeming to lack an a element. Vincent explains how fond of drawing he was as a child and how his earlier request to do her portrait was serious--~ '..beauty with an incredible sadness beneath it..' [inner chuckle, since he has no idea]. She decides to pose for him and Vincent draws even while the demonic self-criticism figures go on. They start to wane/go away as he goes on.

When he finishes, Death asks if he's happy w/the end result. He says 'it's a small word' before going to his window, noticing how he's been at it for hours but it's still evening and everything including rain drops have paused. She reveals how they're 'standing in a place beyond time'. His body is sitting on a sofa, cigarette still in hand--it all clicks for Vincent.

He get's upset looking at his body and asks if his life has been worth much before saying how he at least left behind 'something of real value' (the portrait). His clock ticks again and his cigarette falls burning where he lives, Vincent trying to grab his portrait but phasing through 'ghost like'. He asks, the Jamie Chung voiced character 'how can you be so cruel?[etc]', w/her replying how his story was written in *the book of Destiny* before he even began breathing. He sadly asks if she can save the painting before having a flashback to drawing as a child.

'_' '~' For some reason he says 'you already have, haven't you?', saying how she gave him a gift while his (house(?)) continues burning, before he reverts to a child and she holds her hand asking if they'll go then 'into the mystery'..here I'd have gone wild if 'her siblings' (the other 'Endless') has been there, even as say some shadowy sillhoutes she'd be approarching ); the demonic figures of self-criticism specifically, I could see tying into mechanations by 'Desire'.

Firefighters arrive and comment on the aftermath noticing how the painting remained. Credits roll and flipping *Jae Lee* did that portrait ^_^ !..I notice other Korean seeming name mention for animation but no Phil Bourassa, curiosly.

^1 Gaiman's 'Endless' was one reason for the 90's take on 'goth' catching on..I once read an interesting forum entry on an idea as to why 'Destruction' specifically didn't seem to follow that look as much as the other siblings

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^_^ Awwww,yeeah!. Jamie Chung does voice acting for the character good,

If a live action 'Sandman' movie doesn't come to fruitition (I liked this *fan trailer* from 'once upon a time', link], if JG Levitt would be open to voicing Morpheus/Dream I'd be cool w/that.

Tbh, 'having my feet on the ground' in arguable objectivity, the short does hit 'some predictable beats' but the fact such high production animation was used on somethng relatively low spectable is something I can gush on about,

Like imagine if 'Bojack horseman' had been done by Phil Bourassa. Maybe more dramatic Western animation might catch on sooner if that had been the case b/c comedy can definitely take some twists an turns in expectations to be something more serious, can't it now? and from what I've heard and understand that show demonstrated it which is healthy step up from when 90's 'adult animation' meant crass a/o trying to hard/overexerting and not really knowing what it wants to be (looking at you Beavis and Butthead, the Simpsons and South park) or even mainly action based (the Maxx, Aeon flux and Spawn).

The whole short was almost 20 minutes.

I worry about maybe having said this before on this site..a notion that 'life force' is immortal but identity isn't..note the mentions of the ship of Theseus and Derek Parfit in the 'Crash course philosophy #20: arguements against personal identity' video if you seek to understand..I think that notion is in a lot of ways what humility means..

I think, that I come to realize how I somewhat prefer collage making to painting even though both require about the same amount of patience. Collage making is resource intensive*, in that you kind of need an idea already as to what you will do.

*at this pt. for me

Believe it or not, as exceedingly rare it is, there were times when various societies didn't have a notion of currency proper*..ask yourself how you would behave in such a setting. You don't have to be a non-Caucasian to imagine.

* it is fairly likely that in place of currency use as we understand it, trade a/o bartering would be in place but the procedures for attainment might be radically dissimilar from conventional/typical money use

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if..

1000 words= non-waylaid 5 minute monologue

500 words=2.5 minutes
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but if

dialogue?..depends on who?..

give or take 25% if deep conversation (?)..if taking fast

..if mundane,transactional or banal?..

..depends on level of personal closeness a/o who?..

say a loved one or a therapist?..

..if it's spoken poetry?..

[impervious]

~2.5 hrs of online work done..

Will fill in certain Excel info tomorrow

'Shave and a haircut' and 'Come undone' by Duran Duran, stick w/me b/c of pornography related memories.

Styx's 'Mr. Roboto' b/c of a 'How I meet your mother' episode where I think Ted loses a bet to Barney on thanksgiving and they go to a strip club afterwards.

`_` ._. eeehhhh...I don't know how to feel about music sticking w/me for that reason..h--l it's not exactly the same as remembering lewd R&B or hip-hop w/lyrics which can be non-ambigious..*it's the visual context* in this case w/those pieces.

There is an idea in my mind that were if I were someone's boyfriend, I could imagine at some point w/my partner while slowly walking towards to the kindergarten area I once went to and it's pine tree, that I'd let 'the Mortal Kombat' theme or variant thereof, play and say something like '..this is where it all began..' at some point, like at the gong like sound around the end.

Who's to say that moments of harrassment, dangerous self-pressure and pre-20 something angst aren't worthy of being assembled into an AMV w/the intro song of one of video game's most infamously gruesome fighting games?.

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Ahh, the annoyance of YouTube commercial and me having bought into the attraction of a program back when school program marketability was still often on my mind w/my ridiculously feable understanding of labor economy was still a thing

https://gizmodo.com/biden-to-coal-miners-learn-to-code-1840735758

I could imagine the X-men or at least Wolverine being sedgewayed into the MCU via steady hints at vibranium's derailment as 'the hardest substance' to introduce Wolverine. I'd prefer after introducing the X-men if he isn't already coming along w/them.

:) How amusing https://www.cracked.com/article_27285_dating-sites-are-trying-to-contain-quarantined-singles-in-yor-area.html

F--k =_= . Like w/listening to my sister chat at times, I have to learn to not take stuff said in the chats seriously^1 --places are useless at times.

^1 i.e. don't reply/entertain something said

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Interesante: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Play-by-mail_game