Modal0154 journal: vol.IV
Speaking as someone who..lacks autonomy, speaking as someone who is autistic, speaking as someone 'fundamentally' friendless, speaking as someone who communicates, speaking as someone who struggles not to regret, speaking as someone unsure of resuming to read through what he wrote, speaking as someone bilingual, speaking as someone who has *a lot of issues* 'following his own voice', speaking as someone who 'doesn't do self-confidence', speaking as someone who 'doesn't do trust' neither intrapersonal or interpersonally w/uncompromising authenticity..
John Cage's idea of how silence is only an idea, intrigues/fascinated me..
how I wish to gush about it
https://aesthetics.fandom.com/wiki/Lo-Fi
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Lo-Fi is a largely music-centric aesthetic that utilizes muted tones and mundane imagery to evoke a feeling of calm and nostalgia...The genre (and associated aesthetic) is often loved for taking a genuine and longing approach to nostalgia while also encouraging people to stop in the moment and pay attention to the world around them.
Music
There are two primary genres of Lo-Fi music. Both feature heavy use of intentional sound quality degradation to achieve a more analogue feel. High frequencies are also commonly avoided or minimized through things such as EQ and Low-Pass filters, resulting in a muted, low-intensity aura.
Lo-Fi Hip-Hop
By far the more popular of the two, Lo-Fi hip-hop is a predominantly instrumental genre primarily designed to evoke feelings of nostalgia or calm. This genre commonly features songs with low and mid-tempos between 70 and 90 beats per minute, with 85 being a particularly common choice among artists. Samples from anime or other sources of recorded speech are frequently inserted into this music, and, while far less common, singing and rapping do occasionally appear in the genre as well. It is not to be confused with chillhop, a closely related jazz-based hip-hop sub-genre that utilizes much less intentional sound signal degradation and typically displays higher tempos, clearer mixes, and more bouncy properties instead. High frequencies are also not as avoided in chillhop as they are in Lo-Fi.
Visuals
Lo-Fi aesthetics often take on the color palette of Vaporwave and the imagery associated with Animecore, then utilize various Vintage-inspired tones and filters. Colors that typically appear vivid in photographs and drawings will instead be desaturated and toned down, resulting in a dated or faded appearance. As with Lo-Fi music, the intentional degradation of image quality is also commonplace. Techniques such as the addition of visual noise, decreased contrast, and even chromatic aberration may be used for this purpose. While easily confused with Vaporwave, there are several key differences between the two, notably Vaporwave's more prevalent usage of computer-generated and surreal settings in combination with highly saturated colors.
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'Collages' : pone cosas al arte que ya has hecho
Nas, Busta Rhymes and Nelly. When it comes to lyricists in hip-hop (rapping)
Slick Rick if I had to choose to focus one only one person who was active before the 90's, b/c the rudiments shown in the 80's themselves can be enjoyable.
I forget with which talk show host (maybe Kimmel ?) but Snoop Dogg once said that this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkGLco0tGqc was either his first favorite hip-hop song or the earliest ones he remembers listening to.
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Breaking, graffiting and beatboxing somehow functionally faded from hip-hop and it's aesthetics..and yet there will always be arguements about best MC =~= ?
Collage assembled Keith Haring scene
Something I don't like about art is when you take something you made, even if it is some haphazardly splashed on paint which barely even qualifies as 'abstract' and you think you could use it for something else but it would mean you would end up scrapping it, if it doesn't turn out good.
All that effort, all that time, all that pigmentation 'up in smoke'..and the semi-deluded talk of art theory tomes on abstract stuff trying to justify 'scraps'.
The grass is greener on the other side..the grass is greener where you water it.
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'-' d
My mom being settled w/me explaining the social assistance documents.
Her and my sister having gone to Costco
The outcome of painting w/crushed chalk, silver glitter and waiting for it to dry
Finding out about the 'Black, black heart' David Usher song
Having 'Art academy: lessons for everyone'
Finding G. Washington Jr's 'Arias' on Spotify
The music and videos I came across overnight
Walking with a dog not being as ridiculous as I thought it would be
Arguments btw my parents about a child* of a friend of my dad having entered and been among us for a while
* the child's presence was heartening; my dad is not sober.
Shizz hits the fan when one parent not sober talks about how their partner's parents/ your grandparents might possibly have have a history of physical abuse a/o harrasment w/one another.
When dad says non-English cuss word on par w/ 'a--hole' to mom and he storms off ?..
`_` though her being upset at him for using a homophobic phrase..
Real life socializing, the 'meaningful kind' is for rich, successful ppl
Banal, semi-customer service socializing is for 'not underclass'
Anyone else gets mumbly, surly crassness for the jaw-wasting and communication limited and maybe addict like to boot
=_= *sigh* that last one applies to my opinions of the group chat when I feel like I can't get a reply btw the ridiculous fibbing and talks about petty debauchery
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..'once upon a time' around ~2k03 a g.7 teacher told our class that when girls grow up it's important for them to have a good job in order to disengage from a relationship w/someone physically abusive, all the more 'high stakes' when there all already children present. Anyone here agrees w/that?.
@_@ ._. *sigh*
--email to library: missed meeting
--email to Mc: being payed for what?.. and contract renewal
To all those judgmental ppl out there: it looks worse than it feels.
Gathering your thoughts, communicating with others, not being a liar with information, repeating et al..
Sometimes I think an inability to lead can be indicative of mental health issues.
Maybe that's why I write obsessively. Not feeling that I could ever really participate in that cycle and live to self-accept.
So far avoiding even SFW videos related to pornography
Dad returned after spat this morning, mom went to speak w/him privately (in the garage (?)) and haven't seen them since
Refried beans mixed in w/couscous is kind of dry
No biggie about missing video meeting done by 'chief librarian' b/c the session was recorded and left on 'MS Teams' as somewhat convoluted as it is to access
Sent a msg to higher at university regarding clarification: not really understanding what 'paid leave of absence' (fully) means plus why another pay-stub?
The quiet of my siblings sleepings, no parents and inactive pets reminded me of the Toronto meditation retreat try--and still keeps reminding me-- if I don't do stimulation even infotaining kinds like a 'HiHo kids' video -- I think, I can sustain it longer until 'domestic noise' comes sooner or later. Even then, I live w/out infotainment noise a bit longer b/c of the bliss/soothing patience of a house floor give an 'unoccupied/empty' vibe.
My dad is w/a family friend apparently. I hate the doomsaying like stuff my parents (my mom currently) will watch when it comes to conspiratorial videos.
The drag w/being a functional atheist is having ironed out how their isn't going to be an expectation for some uber-capable deity to catalyze the most aggravating issues 'in need of miracles' (ex. induce rent which never again will surprass more than four digits for building no older than me).
The part of me which struggles to think of 'popular Pentecostalism' if not broader 'evangelical style' Christianity in contrast to weary and stuffy reputed liturgical styles of Christianity as more than maudlin wannabe neo-Gnosticism w/reocccuring doomsaying undercurrents.
..
=_= I hate not being autonomized(as in having autonomy not like being a cyborg)..when society gets ppl like me who dangerously snap, I'm going to be disappointed w/how juvenile the bafflement is.pre-double digit thugs occupy bodies overshadowing their E.Q's in proportion.
Stifled intellectual honesty an outcome of a forced following is it?..
...E.I.Q's..
How I pain for the precise quote =_=
..
Daisetsu Teitaro 'D.T.' Suzuki saying Meister Eckhart's mysticism resembles [blank, blank, adjective or noun (?) ] Buddhism
If applicable happy Easter holidays a/o 'extended weekend'.
More closures for ~+2 days for emergency services to rest.
Here's to an awareness of holiday time sweets/chocolates.
Totality is mine