Modal0154 journal: vol.IV
Speaking as someone who..lacks autonomy, speaking as someone who is autistic, speaking as someone 'fundamentally' friendless, speaking as someone who communicates, speaking as someone who struggles not to regret, speaking as someone unsure of resuming to read through what he wrote, speaking as someone bilingual, speaking as someone who has *a lot of issues* 'following his own voice', speaking as someone who 'doesn't do self-confidence', speaking as someone who 'doesn't do trust' neither intrapersonal or interpersonally w/uncompromising authenticity..
John Cage's idea of how silence is only an idea, intrigues/fascinated me..
how I wish to gush about it
Realize como este seria el primer decada de mi vida en que no estoy 'obligado' ir a escuela y no estoy bajo de la sobre-vista de uno.
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The thing about mandatory indoor time for everyone is that it makes me hate where I live less if when I think about it, it's less about addicts and dangerously stubborn old ppl while going through downtown b/c no one, including that demographic for the most part is out.
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https://youtu.be/S1g5mxgvReQ?t=992: A case against the 'Ling Ling 40 hrs' overachiever gag (16:34-17:05)* ..contradicted here (17:31-17:34)
*taking into account 16:34-17:31 and applying it to any practise including hypthetically meditation and..interesting
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Visual art: mineral and body.
Rest you thoughts; 'inside voice' thoughts abound here.
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Understanding how Patreon works
Bank customer service presence
Access to food
Exercise
Access to internet
Presence of 'a certain branch of my family'
Recent conversations w/my sister
Her art supplies
" " including about porn use at her place et al
The person who I will report online work to
Whether you like it or not the impact of quarantine on *an individual level*
'JazzyGuns' playthrough channel
The PS3's YouTube app not f--g up on my parent's semi-drunken karoke.
When it comes to 'cryptids' my mom like merppl and when it comes to movie monsters she doesn't like zombies.
Your reaction time only lives once, love.
Besides self-soothing, I feel that when it comes to motivating autistics into exercise think sublimating stim habits into something more meaningfully constructive.
Irregardless of your physical fitness state you might be surprised by how much of a regimen can be made from a routine focusing on your back. Irregardless of your physical fitness state you might be surprised by how beneficial a regimen can be made from a routine focusing on your back.
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If this goes on for longer, I wonder what will become of my dental cleaning appointment ?.
If I need to decide I will say 'a month and a half after typical operations are resumed' is when I would like to rebook my break.
YouTube app just f--d up on my parent's..is it our WiFi or the PS3's age?..
If I could 'shapeshift' btw a skunk, a rabbit or a bear..
If a hypothetical 10,000 objects were borrowed from Hamilton's libraries before the closures..even w/~+3 month loan periods, if 1/2 of that amount were returned to the various buildings w/no pages (myself included) there to collect, gather and shelve..'~' =~= the cringy, maybe backbreaking task of actually needing to do shelving w/carts which might hold 300 when compactly stuffed to the brim..is going to be a reason for why I would want to keep my break weeks for sometime after things 'are operational' once more.
The smart thing to do in my opinion is when 'things settle down enough' say near the 25th of May/basically ~+2 weeks before things become operational again to call in pages to do there shtick in the placid setting of mainly empty libraries. Call in pages to do there shtick in the placid setting of mainly empty libraries among 100's of returned items while curculation of items or clients is not a thing.
Realmente considare mandar esta idea por correo electronico a uno de mis 'mas altos'.
I won't miss my parents watching conspiratorial schlock one YouTube ( recently ~ ' why vaccines are a farce'.. =_= in Spanish ) upon moving out.
When I was younger I was excited to watch a documentary, maybe it was a National geographic one, claiming that it'd be the first one w/ footage of a living giant squid. I remember being upset for missing it b/c I had to follow my parents somewhere.
There are instances when I have such nice chats w/ listeners that I'm deeply reluctant to erase remain transcripts of chats.
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My sister letting me have what leftover gnocchi was made by her.
Seeing Herbie H.'s jazz take of Prince's 'Theives in the temple' and I'm triggered to a d--n instead where a city bus driving was so f--g grabby for a worn out Mohawk ID card he claimed had a fake bus pass sticker, early one September while boarding so near campus. =_= F---k!, that fool!.
That d--n early September.
Class consciousness, awareness of cognitive distortions and a temptation to say that's all you need for commitment, care and lifestyle to steadily wipe out centuries of ignorance and the consequent spending on experiences not worth your time ever so often not beyond the circle of some d--n posturing sociomechanism.
From the novel, 'The giver'..
"If everything was the same, there would be no choices".
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Reply from a 'higher up' regarding scheduling breaktime
Besides hearing a under 10 minute audio clip to make notes and other notes, the functional end of my weekly work
The food present
.. I think, I actually paid more attention this time..
plus my aunt's reply
Msg about break rebooking
" " my idea
look into social assistance my siblings and mom have recieved
Use tabule and fish patties for meals ~
Things to do, I feel as if I'm forgetting something--this stuff will likely take all the daylight time b/c of expectant sleep screw up
Maybe clarify my aunt on a Word file sent to her ?
-SO many video essays and mini-docu's -- Cracked put up a 'thing we would rather not return after current scenerio' podcast
Mmmmm.. =_= ..
online dating attempt again ?.
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I hate the risk of having to deposit some money b/c of the feeling to 'balance my account' for online transactions like say dating site features.
Dr. signed social assistance related documents have still not been received via fax to the agency.
Will call physician's place next week about it having been faxed by then.
10 a.m. -2 p.m. office hours// I'm not manipulative but strategic as h--l.
"2. Return the completed form to us (no photocopies or faxes please) by June 16, 2020. Its very important that you return the form by the due date or ask for more time. If not, the allowance will stop"
>:I F---K !! REALLY =_= ?!.
A d--n epidemic no one foresaw is derailing that priggish detail about photocopies and faxes not being acceptable !.
I got a receptionist expecting an answer from me and a need to ask a d--n office which doesn't open 'til 10 on that !.
You don't need to call Apple customer support today.
Forget it and wait until your proper case manager returns tomorrow for replies.
Unfortunately this s--t not getting resolved is why I woke up so early =_=
I left a message on my case manager's machine.
Talked w/case manager
Left msg at my doctor's giving the a-okay to have the signed forms faxed.
'Different topic' : call Apple and ask them how to 'disconnect' my phone's camera roll from OneDrive which is making it overstuffed.
20 minutes of meditation, 10 more for exercise
x minutes of online work b/c ~3.4 hrs to go..
Since returning from the trip into El Salvador my mom has needed to use my cell phone. I think her device doesn't really work b/c of a SIM card adjustment she had to make while travelling but which didn't get resolved b/c of the current public health scene.
~3:25 .p.m. EST 4-21-2k20-- touched base with physcian about the signed documents and faxes being acceptable
the furitive world of recieving social assistance is like a combination of the movie of the movie 'uncut gems' and the trailer for the Gary Oldman version of 'tinker tailor soldier spy.
You don't need religion to realize how ritualistic life can be.
" " office admin certification " " admin filled " ".
" " procedural " ".
Will need to msg another higher up and thankful for reply back from this higher up.
Que no realisan la gente que tanto riesgo toma uno en no diciendo los detalles ?.