My Diary, a cage
Hi, I don't feel too good, sometimes not even okay. I know I need those medicines, but my parents don't give them to me. I've complained many times about it, it can't solve the problem, I know, neither my parents would give them to me. I'm just trying to keep going. I don't want to waste my school year. So, I'm just trying to focus on studying, but everything I try is in vain. I'm unable to concentrate on anything. I feel really hopeless and helpless. And I don't know what to do
It sounds really crazy sometimes, but aI feel like I'm living in a cage, and whatever I wish to do, even if it's as simple as going out for a walk or any simple activity, I'm unable to do it because of present situation and circumstances.
Today, I'm feeling like my anger has consumed me, like I'm surrounded by a fire that is spreading and i can't escape, like it will burn everything, including me. I sometimes feel like it's a weird feeling i experience , I feel afraid to step out of my home sometimes, panic rushes through my entire body and it kind of makes me extra alert of what's surrounding me, that doesn't even kind of make sense, I know but no matter how many times I've tried to overcome this feeling, it doesn't help.
I'm not feeling really fine today. I've been unable to sleep since about a month now and the medicines don't seem to help with that and although there's been some kind of improvement, I guess, I have started to feel worse again. Being betrayed by my only friend weeks ago, I am all alone and once again there's just me and my thoughts messing up with each other. I don't know how to control my anger and negative thoughts coming up in my mind all day. I'm tired of complaining all the time about it.
I don't know what to do to feel better. I'm tired of feeling this way, perhaps, stepping out of my house might help or perhaps watching some videos. I'mma try something.