Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Open vent

User Profile: AnxiousAxolotl6
AnxiousAxolotl6 April 27th, 2021

I'm pretty much venting, but I'm open to receiving insight/advice from anyone willing to give. So basically, I have very low self worth. To me, everyone else is better, because that's how it's always looked. I don't have any talents or hobbies, I'm average when it comes to academics, I'm terrible at sports and art, and I barely talk to anyone. I don't hate myself, but I don't hold myself to a very high standard. Growing up, adults would tell me "oh you're so smart, you're so talented" and I didn't have any reason to argue with them. But a few years ago I started questioning whether or not they were right, and the more I thought about it the less I agreed. No matter what topic I thought of, I personally knew someone who was better than me at it, and more often than not they were a family member. Around the same time I came to this conclusion, my Dad had just started art and was much better than me already. My brother had just started his GCSEs and was doing well in all of them, and my sister was already part of several sports clubs and winning medals. Meanwhile all I had was 4 GCSEs at passing grade, an OCN, a single participation medal from a competition I entered and was around the oldest there, and no clubs, talents or skills to be seen. No matter what, I couldn't find something that I could feel comfortable saying was "my thing" A year ago, I bought a skateboard. I couldn't ride a bike and thought learning to skateboard would make up for never learning that. The day it arrived, I was very nervous trying it. I could barely get myself to move because I wasn't used to it. My sister asked if she could try it, and she confidently skated down the hall. My brother was encouraged to try it as well and had similar results. Do you know how crushing that feels? Being excited to learn this new skill, spending money on it, only to learn that both your younger siblings are naturals at it, while you can't even move? Needless to say, I never did learn to skate. Cut to me now. I still don't have a talent, and anything I try to do, someone comes along to learn the skill as well and learns it almost instantly. It makes me feel like I'm just not meant to be good at anything. That there's no point in trying to do anything new. It's reached a point where I'd be happy to be average. I've run out of talents to try, and I get made fun of for not being good at any of them. I don't really know how to finish this vent, so I'll just end it here.

1
User Profile: Cou10ho
Cou10ho April 27th, 2021

Truth is, I don’t know what to say. Yet I want to. Cuz I know the feeling, you can’t pinpoint nothing you are good at and can’t seem to enjoy anything. Try this though and see if it will help: When going to bed, just smile and convince yourself that tomorrow is a big day and you need a sound sleep to prepare for the day. As if nothing else matters.... It’s not a professional advice but I hope it helps ❤️ P.S you matter to me, cuz you make me feel something today and I thank you for that