Safe Place - Clayfully

Here goes I guess.

Feeling pretty rotten so far today. I've sat here for 45 minutes or so trying to find any motivation to open my curtains or get dressed. Lockdown is taking a big toll on my mental health. I'm feeling things that I haven't felt in years.

I feel completely trapped. I just want to run away from everything, but there's no where to run.

What I'd love right now is to spend the day on the beach, enjoying the warm spring sun, the ocean sands, and the chilled out time with my daughter without her demands for entertainment. But I can't.

I feel like I have to provide entertainment. But I can't, because my mind is fuzzy and tired. Anxiety has made itself at home in my throat.

I know lockdown is for the greater good, but the uncertainty is suffocating. I need to know there's a way out, something I can grasp on to so all the strides I've made in the last few years wasn't wasted, so I don't have to start all over again.

I don't know how long I can continue living feeling trapped in this dark void of anxious nothingness.