Sexual abuse and my relationship
Brief story: I was sexually abused as a child, in my teens and I also met creepy men along the way. The ones that think "ooh something happened, let's take advantage since her panic response is to go quiet and shut down."
I only started meeting decent people a few years ago. One of whom, is my boyfriend. I have been with him for over a year. Relationship is great. He loves me and all my quirks. Calls me beautiful whether I am dressed up or all sweaty and stinky(from housework lol). He respectful, patient, gentle and caring towards me. He also said that he is in it for the long haul, like the forever kind...the point is, things are good.
But sometimes, I wonder if he just says what I want to hear. There's a little voice of doubt creeping at the back of my mind.
Plus, recently I have been feeling weird about having sex in general. It's really nice but I am okay not doing it also. It's not something I need. Also, I feel guilty like I am doing something wrong just having multiple sexual relationships before marriage. I feel like I am a bad person...yeah I know it's weird thinking.
I told my bf this and he said that I am just going through something. He is happy to wait short term for me to figure things out. But if this long term and I am celibate from this point on till marriage, the he can't stay in this relationship.
I don't know what to do. Am I risking letting a decent person go because of my trauma and trust issues.
@CharmedPrincess23
Princess, it can be tough to wait. It sounds that they want to make sure that they have something but don't want wait at all.