Sharing The Day

Hello @Metamelomai

It's going to get better trust me! i was the same way you are when i was 30. Be kind to yourself for getting this far in your life... distractions like porn and games can be good things... i let my drivers license expire 4 8 years too... 

Make sure you take small steps over time to get these issues resolved... i'm glad you shared your story here, i relate so much with you. 

Keep your chin up, you only have one way left to go and that's up... 

I have a question for the curious few who read this. My morning today came with a small helping of dread and anxiety. While shaking that off, I found myself wondering how much does the feeling vary for different people? I'm curious to hear but only share if you are comfortable with the reflection of course.

For myself it is a churning heavy lump in my stomach that seeps into my spine causing a sort of hot uncomfortable sensation that climbs up to the base of my neck and then rakes back down to the stomach. Leaves me feeling fidgety, makes me want to pace around and try to shake it out though that does not really work.

Something that DOES tend to help me settle it down a bit however is taking the ye olde breathing techniques and mentally reciting some thoughts that I find grounding. I lean towards some of the common stoic mantras. 

"This to shall pass" I tend to add in "remember the feelings are temporary" as well.

"We are more often frightened than hurt and we suffer more in imagination than reality."

"Live is very short and anxious for those who forget the past, neglect the present and fear the future."

"How does it help to make troubles heavier by bemoaning them?"

I currently work from a home computer, it's both a blessing and a curse at the same time. It can be difficult to separate work related stress from home when all of it takes place right there not twenty steps from your bed. Today was long but I kept focus throughout decently well. After I signed off the only productive thing I could put my frazzled brain to was practising road rules questions. First time in a very long time I have looked at them, It's not honestly the top of my list in terms of important tasks but its better than nothing productive at all. 

I hope your days are moving well, goodnight.

- melo -

Work today was extra busy for the first half of the day, the first 5 hours passed by in a blur but overall was uneventful. 

Arms are sore from my exercises today, I managed to do 140 push ups over 6 sets ranging from 33 at most to 17 at the lightest. My goal for these specifically is to comfortably do 3 sets of 50 with proper timing and form. I was following along with an online fitness video series by a lady named Caroline Girvain, got up to video 20 but I was finding that I struggled with the push up and core segments more so than the leg or general cardio focused workouts so I decided to pause and pivot a bit  focusing on those specifically till I shore up a bit of my ability there.

Also to anybody who feels like they should be eating more home cooked food but isn't the best with cooking, look at grabbing a slow cooker. I depend pretty heavily on the one I have, they are super easy; around lunch time just fill with broth/water mixed with potato or rice, whatever veggies and proteins you want and then just leave it to simmer till supper where you will have like six servings of food. I usually don't add spices or sauces to the whole batch so I can add it into the specific servings as I heat them. It helps preventing boredom of the same thing so many times in a row. The batch I put together today is brown rice, ground beef, sweet potato and lotsa peas.

Peace

- melo -