Shoes and acceptance

Today I went out with my partner to have a little fun. We've both been so cooped up and worried about money- it's time for a little break. So we drove up to a big city.

He wanted to stop to "get something for me." He said he knows I've needed "it" for weeks and he wanted to make this trip worthwhile. He came back with shoes! Definitely needed them- I've glued my shoes so many times I've lost count. But now the whole shoe is peeling away from the sole entirely. But-- they weren't what I was expecting.

I'm 34. And my taste is still very much the same as I was in high school. But that's not always to my benefit because flashy or cute is not always also sustainable and comfortable. I'm 34 and feet health is very important to me. But being cheap af is always my default. Y'all...this man spent $80 on orthopedic shoes for me. 

And I felt...frustrated. Because they're not flashy. They're not ugly but they're plain mesh. And they're the kind you just step into. I was annoyed because I'm not old yet! I can bend down! I don't make big, boisterous grunts when I stand or sit! And there's no shoelaces because of that- it's elastic. And I was annoyed at myself too because it was a present and here I am acting like a baby because they're not covered in logos or colors or fancy stitching. 

But this guy...was so patient with me. He pointed out how cool they actually are. They have a heel cradle to promote walking and ankle health. They have a tall toebox because my 2nd toes are a little longer than my big toes. They're very breathable so there's no excess sweat AND if they do get stinky, they're designed to throw in a washing machine. It's memory foam so eventually all my toes get their own spaces when I break the shoe in which is great because I have a wide foot.

And the more I thought about it...the more I felt sentimental toward this shoe. Because I've had shoes that bruise and cut off circulation, dig at the heel and cause callouses on spots that aren't normal. And of course- they were all either flashy or cheap. 

You know, my partner is younger than me. So I thought initially this was a jab (Especially when he said that thing about "My grandpa has these shoes and he loves them." 😅) But he also said he's probably going to get himself a pair when his wear through (maybe a year or less). And I can tell he means it too- because he matches me whenever we get anything of quality. We have the same coat and it looks dweeby whenever we go anywhere. But it's sweet.

So, I'm wearing them tonight at work and they feel so nice. And I'm accepting that even though I'm older, most of my problem with them was a mindset. But taking care of yourself physically should always come first. And it's very sweet that he would remind me to be practical. And they're actually kinda cool.

PS. I'm knitting him a scarf tonight to help his ear health in the winter. He picked out his own colors and he's excited. 💑