Silly fears

I have a fear that comforts me and destroys me at the same time.

I do not know what the fear is but I know the feeling it gives me

when I am opening up there is a stiffness in my body

when I am happy I feel sick to my stomach

when I am upset I feel it too

it's the sting in my eyes and the smile on my face

it's a feeling that reminds you to open your eyes but shows you there's nothing to open them up for

It's a thought that sticks with you throughout every moment of your life, good or bad

It's the need to be who you truly are but holding back

because the knowledge you don't really know who that is 

and it's the reminder that you don't care much for knowing anyways.

It comes and goes though so that's why i call it a fear

fear keeps people alive anyways lmao <3