Sorry to my friend
I feel guilty all the time I think of you still in ways I shouldn't I don't mean to I care about you I love you and I don't know what to do this wrecked us once before and we've only just finished rebuilding from that I can't tell you how happy I am that were meeting up a couple times a week again but I'm scared how long can I keep this up it hurts I'm not trying to be selfish we both have our issues and Everytime something upsets you it breaks me knowing I can't be there to help like I want to be or that I can't make you feel safe like you do me I don't know where the futures going to take us and it's a scary thought but I'm not sure if I want it to last much longer or be over sooner
[Edited by Erato to remove unsupportive content, 6/13/19, Please read the forum guidelines before posting]
@Butterflee exactly what are you doing on a support website if your not expecting to see people in need of support? Oh and I've never used a fax I'm under the age of 40 x
@Skylerrosejulie93 was a metaphore if you kbow what a fax metaphore is...
@Butterflee also just so you know it's not nonsense we both went through the same trauma as kids he's the only person I know in real life that has been through what I have we both have complex PTSD and the friendship did work to aid our recoveries in certain areas hence why we didn't just leave it if you didn't have anything helpful to say how about you just don't reply 🤷
@Skylerrosejulie93
I'm sorry t hear that you're going through this, and no, it's not just something we can "get over" just like that. 
I think the fact that you're meeting with your friend several times offers hope to reconcile differences, but also know that improvements in the relationship won't happen overnight.
It's imprtant to reconcile, but it is also very important to set boundaries so neither one ends up saying or doing anything that might trigger the other person.
Hope this helps a little! 
@AbbyHarris1976 thanks hun yeah I know things been rough but lately he's not been well and our mental health services around have been cut so I've had to be around more I'm also having to learn more about his secondary condition too which is likely to bring us closer so I reckon I need to be honest I don't want a relationship either though don't get me wrong that's the confusing part with our PTSD it'd be too hard but doesn't stop the feelings you know x