Spring's Thread ^-^
Hey ^-^
Welcome to my forum thread ^-^ I'm sorry I might not be regular and it may be super random stuff I hope you all don't mind much 😅
Lots of love ,
Spring
@Goodhomespring
Sometimes it's really overwhelming and I feel like I don't understand what's happening. Like somedays I don't even wish to get out of bed and I'm left wondering if it's somehow me faking sadness or anxiety to avoid the tasks? This is cos sometimes I feel okay-ish. I befriended an old friend in hopes of reconnecting and feeling better but the thing is they don't..I mean they don't reciprocate and I feel like it's a one sided thing. I just feel so lonely and so overwhelmed that I can't help it and I do try to feel better but often fail at it. I think none of my family members understand me and I'm tired of my sister bullying me so much and my mother justifying it. It's just so overwhelming and I changed schools recently so nothing is the same. I feel kind of like a burden to everyone over here and my house and stuff and I am feeling so off since months that I don't have motivation at all to do even simple tasks like getting out of bed. I wish someone would understand stuff and I've a huge syllabus to cover and all anyway that's still okay but I don't know I'm not feeling okay at all. I know this isn't really like sad or like justified for me to feel not okay but yeah I don't and nothing like fixes it ~ exercise and all. All I really do all day is sleep to escape reality xD anyway thanks for reading all of that ☺️
@Goodhomespring
Springyyyyy! *hugs* You're never a burden smh. It's okay not to feel okay, you don't have to justify it , you're a human bean and we all do have feelings *hugs*. I can understand how it feels when we are trying to reconnect but seems like it's one-sided, that things have changed a lot. I know you've been going through lots of changes, new school, lots of portions to study, but having to spend time just to be okay may seem a waste making us wonder, whether all this is fake. Just know that your feelings are as valid as others and it's okay not to be okay *hugs*. I'm so so proud of you for trying to be okay, exercise and stuff, even though it may seem like nothing is helping also for the courage to start writing. I'm always here for you *hugs* 
@Exulansis00
Thanks dreamie *hugs*
I feel kind of weird today ~ I haven't gotten out of bed all day and I feel kind of sad although I don't really know why. I tried talking to my mom about it but that really didn't work out well and I don't know really what's been going on. Anyway yesterday was a horrible day but today is a bit better ish as compared I neither had school nor coaching today so I didn't really do anything much. I've a schedule from tomorrow though and I really hope I've enough will to follow it since I can't fall even more behind in academics. I still kind of feel like a burden to people and all but it's fine I guess. I just wish I could stop this ~ like feeling like this for a while. I wish my parents cared more about it or like me a little. I am still grateful for everything they've done for me and all. I don't know though anymore all I feel is lonliness and sadness and I feel like I won't be much understood by anyone after all even I can't understand myself xD. Anyway I hope I'm able to follow my schedule from tomorrow. I also don't see much point in exercising and all xD so I'm discontinuing all that stuff or like going on walks and all. Nothing makes it better so why bother. I wonder if I'm only faking it or something to get out of working because at times I feel almost okay ish. I hope I figure stuff out soon.
@Goodhomespring
I saw a german documentary studying teens and they confirmed what most of us went through, chronic, unexplainable fatigue. Yet they explained it medically and some countries shifted their school time for teens to begin later in the day because they need more sleep in the morning and rest.
@Goodhomespring
In highschool I used to skip classes alot knowing that I willl do good in exams it was pointless for me to attend classes so that a teacher can justify their salary on "educating" me. I spent time with one of my friends...he was depressed because he did not understand sciences so we skipped classes together and I took him in the forest by the lake where he enjoyed nature and watched the ducks and named them...
Other times I skipped classes for popcorrn and a game of tennis ball throing over tge busses...or going out with a tall classmate to show her the firefighters tower museum and brain freeze with granita ice...
Life is meant to be lived, not follow norms or be a puppet in a system...be free and live your life and if you feel like slumber so be it, it means smth...
I wish you welll...
@HotRedGlowingButterflee
xD I wish I could but here in my country we aaaa don't do all that xD if I skip classes my parents will be very unhappy over it xD plus it's kind of important here like academics is like everything ^-^ anyway thanks for reply 🌺
Today was a good day. Well almost good I woke up on time and studied and everything but at the end of the day I still feel as I did before. I don't know what's like the issue xD but I went for a walk and kind of feel better now. I reallyyy tried today so it kind of feels bad to fail at the end of the day to make myself happy. I kind of feel like my old friend is reconnecting but I don't know it's good anyway because I reallyyyy missed them ^-^ I hope I feel better soon though it doesn't seem to be happening much. Anyway at least it was better than yesterday :).
@Goodhomespring
I'm glad today was better than yesteday. It's also okay if tommorow is worse than today. It doesn't mean you failed at being happy. I wish we could but sometimes we can't always control our emotions. I really do hope your days keep getting better. You deserve to feel better. I will be with you till it gets better and I'm always here if you need to talk about anything.
@Sydney113
Aw thanks Australia *hugs* I'm here for you too :p
I feel okay~ish today. Although today was a holiday I barely utilised it and spent most of the day in bed and doing nothing. I studied for only about an hour in the whole day which is soooo less productive smh. I hope that I study more tomorrow. I still feel the same and am waiting for stuff to get better. I also took a one week meditation and exercise challenge lol hopefully will work out but I'm prettyyy sure I'll procastinate on that one too. I hope I get back on track because I don't want xD like to be the kid who goes from being a topper to dropper. I hope I get back on track and actuallyyyy follow the schedule I had made. ^-^ well thanks for reading if anyone is. ^-^ hope that tomorrow is better than today.
Things I'm grateful for-
1)My friends on here and my friends irl.
2) My parents
3) the lockdown which saves me from actually going to school and facing everything xD.
@Goodhomespring
yay springyyyy! I'm so glad to hear the day have been okay eventhough it has an -ish as suffix in it. So proud of you for taking up those challenges. I believe in you *hugs*. Hope you can make the coming days more productive
@Exulansis00
Thanks dreamie :p xD eeeh I don't think I'll succeed anyway xD
xD it's a weird feeling but I feel as if I'm failing at everything. I am unable to pay much more attention to academics and all and I don't have even the willpower to do that. I wish I could like stay in bed forever and never face anything or anyone. I wish I could just do nothing xD forever. I don't know what xD is wrong. I just feel so directionless and aimless. I feel so lonely xD and exhausted all the time. I feel like I don't want to do anything at all. I don't know anymore xD I think I made my old friend mad over something and I just feel xD like I'm burdening them and everyone in general xD. I don't know I never thought for stuff to turn out this way. I imagined my 11th grade far more...better I guess. xD I feel so lonely and distorted and my thoughts don't make much sense to even me. I hope I am able to get out of this soon.. I don't know xD I feel like I'm failing at ljke everything so.. I don't know. xD anyway I still have 6 hours left till the day gets over so.. I hope I am able to utilise them. xD . If I could fix it I would but I'm unable to snap out of it xD.
Anyway three things I'm grateful for-
1) My friends on here
2) My friends irl especially my best friend
3) xD the fact that someone read this post. Thank you and sorry for all the ranting.
No improvements except increasing my study time, feeling the same. *Sigh* miss old friend and feel alone and lonely.Reconnecting with old best friend is hard and I feel like I'm burdening them. Started feeling anxious at night time now so unable to sleep much. Feeling sad mostly. If not that then anger. Don't feel good much nowadays. Hopefully will improve over time.
Things are the same. Might go on a break for a few weeks. I don't know honestly. I feel so lonely and off. Started having anxiety now at night. Also weird dreams perhaps nightmares. Scared and tired. Don't know how to feel better. Clueless and lonely. Keep bothering people with this. Especially my old friend. I don't know I shouldn't talk about this as much as I do. Wish I could just feel better. Mostly anxious, sad or angry. Happiness is rare nowadays. Feel like a burden on everyone irl and here. Will continue to study though. I hope I feel better but I don't think I will so.. anyway new day hopefully will be more productive.
@Goodhomespring
Things are the same as of now. I'm thinking of cutting off everyone for a few weeks. Might go on sc for a month soon. Stopped texting my old friend. Planning of cutting off everyone for a while.
May go on self care break for a few months. I don't know anymore. I feel confused, tired , puzzled, lonely and so many emotions beyond my comprehension. I feel uncared? or like I'm burdening people I guess. Thought that things would get better but they're only getting worse. I'm scared of being a toxic friend who is always whining about life to people (which I'm literally doing right now). I have thought of getting off the virtual world as of now for a few months. I guess at the end we have to figure things out alone. <3 hope things will get better anyway. Sorry for all the posts and thank you for reading through them.
@Goodhomespring Hey - How are you? I often worry about the same thing - being a burden to people. It can be hard to open up sometimes because of it. This is your safe space - on this thread. So you're allowed to write what ever you want or need to
I dont see it as whining - these are things that are important or bother you and they deserve to be heard. You deserve to be heard. Please don't apologize for your posts. There are somethings that We do need to figure out alone but there are people that we meet on the path along the way. Sometimes it may just take us alittle while to meet them
Be gentle with yourself and your thoughts
@mytwistedsoul
Thank you for your kind words 😄. I'm well not great but hanging on. Anxious and tired at the same time quite unproductive. I understand that you're worried about it too it really is kind of bothersome. However I'm mostly accurate in my predictions :( . I hope things get better for you soon 😄🤞Thanks a ton for reading these posts 🐱 means a lot to me <3
@Goodhomespring Some days hanging on is about the only thing we can do. Anxious - tired and unproductive - sounds alot like me lol! You do what you can when you can. Anxiety takes alot of energy out of you. Do you have things you can do to help calm it alittle?
I hope in this case your prediction is wrong :) I don't see you as a burden. Thank you :) I hope things get better for you too!
@mytwistedsoul
I really don't :( mostly I just cups however I need to be more independent of the virtual world :( it's not the best coping mechanism and I need to find something else. :p glad we're soo similar. <3
@Goodhomespring I think alot of people are feeling the same way. This virus has messed things up so much. Most people are social or at least have daily things where they would socialize. Tbh - this is where I socialize too :) With anxiety the first thing you need to do is get your breathing under control. I usually do a breathing exercise. Deep breathing - you breath in through your nose - hold it and then breath out through your mouth - to the numbers 4-7-8 in for 4 hold for 7 and breath out for 8. The numbers are adjustable too - to what ever is best for you. Slow breathing - is like blowing up a balloon - slow and steady with no force to it. It helps slow your heart. I know all sorts of stuff for anxiety lol!
So here is a distraction for you mostly - yeah? Do you have hobbies or maybe something you've wanted to try?
@mytwistedsoul
Thanks a ton for your suggestion ☺️ I guess I hate this pandemic too. I miss my teachers a lot :( and the school. Wish I could go back to the old one. The only good thing about the new one is that I've found really great friends. It's less competetive than the old one though.
@Goodhomespring You're welcome :) I hope they help. It's awesome that you made some great friends! It would be hard missing your old teachers at your old school. Good teachers make a big difference in so many ways. I hope you start to feel more comfortable with this new school. Hopefully they'll figure something out with this virus and we can get back to the way things were
I hope you have a good day or evening - depending on what part of the world you're in lol
@mytwistedsoul
You too! I'll be going on a break pretty soon :p so see you then! *Sends hugs* have a great day!
@Goodhomespring Thank you! Enjoy your break :)
