Struggling with asking for help
I feel like, in theory, I’d love to ask for help. Or just to talk with someone. I actually daydream about it quite frequently. But whenever presented with an opportunity to do so, I feel extremely guilty because I’m reminded that someone else, another human being, is on the receiving end of all my complaints and it’s not fair for me to burden them with all of that. I feel like I’m caught in a continuous loop of guilt and at the same time needing help and it just keeps getting worse and i keep feeling worse. because even when someone OFFERS to listen, i’d still feel guilty sharing my issues with them. i really don’t know how to address this properly without burdening anyone. i want help but i feel like i cant do that without harming or bothering anyone, and that’s the issue — if anything, i should help others instead of expecting the opposite. And what if they can’t help? Should I just leave them with the knowledge they can’t? That’s not fair to them. I really do want help, I really do, but I feel like I’m unworthy of it most of the time, and I feel like by expressing a desire for help I’d be inconveniencing others at the very least. And that would just make me feel worse.
So what if the person offers to be your friend rather than JUST your listener? Friends listen to each other, so both people are getting support. Maybe then it won't seem like you're just using the person to vent to 100% of the time.
I feel like that would make things worse. I kind of treat it as my duty as a friend to help them, not the other way around. I’d feel guilty asking them for help too, especially since it would probably bother them. They never need me for emotional support, so I’d feel wrong asking for that from them.