Too much, one offer the other.
I’m feeling overwhelmed and alone. I moved across the whole country for a job and this state has been nothing but problems. ridiculous cost of living unfriendly and untrustworthy people. I woke maybe 50-70 hr a week for not enough money. Mind you I’m in the wind industry so the work is dangerous and labor intensive you would think decent pay, but no. So Money is tight, no sense of home or comfort. This is the 4th time this year I have had to move because of the cost of living in OR. Then my dad killed himself… I was in Jersey for a month trying to help the detective and translate for my family. I’m devastated. He was my best friend and I can’t talk to him anymore. When I get back to OR my partner started drinking heavily and lashing out anger any which way. I feel stuck in a corner. I don’t make enough money to just leave everything. Im unhappy in so many different ways and I don’t know what to do. I am a problem solving kind of person and I feel stuck and lost. I always take initiative and I don’t know what to do to solve this problem. I’m a very independent person who can take care of myself but I don’t even know what to start picking up… I want help and I don’t know where to find it.
Wow. So sorry you are going through all that!! Life really sucks sometimes doesn't it? I have moved many times and lived away from my family for over 20 years and only last year moved back to my hometown. I don't like this place, but it was time to live close to my family again and I don't think I'll ever leave them again.
Where do YOU think you would feel happiest / safest at this point in your life? You accepted the job thinking one thing and expecting one thing but reality is different. If you are unhappy try to find something else, maybe go back home and be with your family for now, I'm sure they will appreciate the support. Partner sounds like he is unstable and just adding stress to the situation instead of being a supportive partner to you. :(
If he gets violent and you need a safe space please contact a friend or domestic violence support in your area they can help. Stay safe.