Trying to heal

I am 32 years old with 2 kids. As my kids have gotten older, i have been thinking about my childhood, what my parents were like, what we did as a family. For the most part, all i really remember is the negative, such as my parents drinking, partying, then fighting in front of my brother and I. There was a time i called the cops on them for fighting, and they split up for a short time period, and i had never done better in school then at that time. I do not remember my parents ever cuddling with me, helping me fall asleep at night if i needed it, i know we went and did some things as a family but i have no recolection of the event. I  know my dads parents were alcoholics, my grandpa died because he would not stop drinking. His mom was 13 when she had my dad. I dont think his childhood was the greatest growing up, he doesnt talk about it much. My moms parents got divorced, i was told my grandpa was an alcoholic and abusive, and he never wanted my mom. My mother has told me more information for the age i was to even be told what she said. For example, she told me she wasnt sure if i was even my dads kid. She would always talk to me about money problems, bills, *** once i started working i was helping pay bills. As much as they struggled with just 2 kids, they took in my dads brothers 3 nephews and adopted their sister so all 4 could stay together. They did not have a great childhood. I am struggling with rememering my childhood, I want to make sure my feelings and memories of back then are valid, i feel like i have resentment towards more my mother then anyone. I really do not know what to do or where to go from here.