Wallow for one please

Dear Moi,

While I'm dealing with these emotional and physical flu like symptoms. I wanted an irresponsible day.

There are things to sort out, people to call, posts to finish, stories to complete but I'm so tired. I flip flop between the long term chronic pain that eats up my day, intensifies and halts my productivity, to times when I sprain or strain a muscle doing something simple because when I wake up, it's already delicate and fragile.

I want for once to say, Nope I'm too sick to do that and for the other party to agree and say Let's postpone.

But instead I feel like I'm being interrogated and seen to be exaggerating and lying. Just because I'm not limping or on crutches, it doesn't make being active easier or less painful.

Just because you can't see the struggles, it doesn't make it any less real.

If I'm still unwell on Wednesday I'm going to see if I can postpone an appointment. I just want to recover some strength back before I take on the world.

It's hard enough when I'm not fluey, let alone when I am. Why do I feel mocked just for being ill?

I'm not going to plead my case to you, make you believe me, but some respect would be nice.

Does anyone else get that ughh shared too much, I wanna take it back but then relief that it was spoken out loud? Ha half cringeyness :D