i dont know what to think

ok so aha might be slight overreacting on my end but i need opinions

I don't know what to think of my dad. I mean he's way better than before but idk I'm still kinda uneasy around him. Like I can't talk to him properly or hold a conversation without worrying ill slip up and say something that might annoy him. He doesn't usually get mad over something you said, I'm just kinda paranoid. I was getting kinda better ig, like I managed to just shut his old ways from my memories and just sorta ignored it since he was getting better but then something happened that reminded me of the past all over again and now I'm even more paranoid. It was the night before my sister's birthday and we had just celebrated but dad didn't come which was kinda the start of the whole argument and then mom went up to our room and told us all to pack up because we were gonna leave the next day but then dad came up and they started yelling all over again and then he hit mom and then they really started - in front of me and my sister too. She's eight. And it was the day before her birthday. I was the one who sobbed and sobbed tho as this wasn't the first time they'd done this and it triggered some not very good memories but my sister never actually knew about it. They had a few hushed discussions before but it had been a long time since they yelled at each other. We ended up not leaving but I can't help but be tense around him. I'm fine around mom, I love her to bits but not so sure about dad. I also can't help but realize I'm subconsciously pushing him away and constantly mad at him even when he's done nothing. I don't know whether to just stop it and try to like him since he still is my dad and he tries hard with us or dislike him forever for what he did. There are some other things too but I don't feel inclined to reminisce about everything or I'll just start crying again

long rant im sorry-