mismatched thoughts
Just a thread about my thoughts. Hope I can log in daily and fill this. At least each day I spent is not useless. This is also a way for me to keep myself stable
Hey, just starting my day after binging on gaming and youtube and its kind. I have lots of things to do. Assignments and tests are piling up for me this week. Hopefully, this energy of mine can last for the next two weeks.
Will be filling this again later in the day. Me, please remember
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Hey, I think I've done a good job of stabilizing my life. Slept for six hours, woke up early, played with my dog, do chores, ate something. But why am I still like this? I can't finish the work that needed to be done and I am having some kind of anxiety attack for writing this. I am procrastinating and have anxiety for fighting that want for procrastinating. Really, what a great life. Fighting to be better but it's just fake. Maybe actually I don't want to be better, just slowly deprecating in this world. I have never had an anxiety attack because my mind fought it but being on the edge is painful too. Because it never peaked, the feeling felt longer; like let me have that anxiety attack and be done with this, a blackout would be nice too. at least I can use that as reason, I am that bad hahaha.
It's me again. I don't know why I am doing this. I like to be unknown either IRL or on the internet. But I- maybe I need to open up. Anyone reading this, how do you feel today?
I never really realize that I got depression until I quantify my feelings in everyday. Until now, there are no days when I feel happy. I dont know what to do, what to feel. Like everyday's going usual but my body just feel heavy. Work was filled encouraging words; 'move, do this, finish this, and you are done for the day'. Yes, I cannot wait for the end.
@mismatchedNavy I have come back here, again, after 2 years of quarantine 😭. Actually, the quarantine itself was not bad for I am an introvert haha. But getting back into society AFTER is hard. I really wonder if I am bad because I want to stay in my comfort zone... I feel lonely now. I didnt exactly stay in touch with my college friends so now I have only my family to talk. Even then, my younger sisters are all busy. I feel like a failure as the oldest daughter..