my journal: various subjects, opinionating, CW at times
The title explains itself.
If you're interested in the ramblings of a middle-aged man with chronic conditions who, at times, sees things a little too clearly for his own good, then read on.
Sometimes I get political, but it won't be all the time.
I don't mind comments in general but if you're going to differ with what I write, that's fine--as long as you can explain your position clearly & reasonably. Rants, shouting & general incoherence will be ignored or flagged, depending on the situation. Try to remember that not everyone else in this world holds your beliefs.
Every so often I may post art or snapshots of projects I'm working on.
If you're still interested after reading all the above, great. (I do wonder at how much time you have on your hands, though)
Isn't it strange (& irritating) how the older you get, the more concerned you become when the littlest change happens to your body--or your health...
Why isn't everyone over 60 a bundle of nerves & morbid paranoia?...that's the real question.
@slowdecline48 maybe they've just accepted it?
@mytwistedsoul Probably.
At some point giving up becomes the only sensible option, I suppose... That is, assuming one tries to live long enough to where the only thing one can do is give up. Most people do it.
Waitin' on the dryers to finish the load.
Was out walking to the nearby Wawa* when one idi0t rear-ended another who was stopped at the traffic light.1 This was just after 02002 & I'd just crossed the street...saw it all. No one was hurt, but both will need to have bodywork done & the rear-ender will probably need a new radiator... Both men drove off while I was inside the convenience store, presumably after exchanging personal & insurance info.
...perhaps I shouldn't have laughed. But I did. Judge me if you like, but
- as I said, no one was hurt or killed.
- they left under their own power.
- the whole thing was just so stupid. 😂
No, I do not enjoy seeing other people suffer. But I take my amusement where I can.
1I call the vic in the accident an idi0t too because when he stopped at the light he was a ways into the crosswalk, due to the speed he was going when he started braking a bit late. I believe that lack of driving skill is generally (but not always) an indicator of lack of wattage upstairs.
2It's 2 a.m., for all you a.m.-p.m. people out there.
@slowdecline48 No worries Slow. I have to admit when I saw the gif at first I thought someone hit your truck. Tbh I probably would have laughed a little too after seeing no one was hurt because (stupidity and not paying attention) lol
Oh God, no. Moses on crack, f*** no, Twisty... If someone hits my truck, better believe (s)he's gonna pay for the repairs. I need that machine intact, for what will have to be done.
@slowdecline48 Moses on cr.ack 😂 bet he would have built that ark quicker 😂😂
Yeah that would have been a major blow right now with all you got going on
The Back
Not enough sleep, & perhaps a touch of pericarditis...errrrrgghh
@slowdecline48 That doesn't sound good at all Slow 😕 I know there's a lot going on and you've alot to do but I hope you can take it kind of easy
'preciate the thought, Twisty...would sure like to since my nerves are starting to fray at the ends!... I'll take it easy when I can, but now there isn't so much time left. The clock is ticking in my ears.
God, moving is such a pain in the ∆ss...for me it's a pain in a few different places. 😤
Hmmm... @mytwistedsoul you have a point. I could dial it down for what's left of today...might have to see someone tomorrow in any case.
Even so, my camp stove still needs a bag to keep all the pieces together...the plan is to make it from one of the legs of the jeans I cut up a few days back (Another hole started in the upper thigh)...I can sew the bottom while sitting down. Or not.
@slowdecline48 I think taking the rest of the day is probably a pretty good idea. Hey if you can get a start on making something to keep your camp stove in that's great - if not - that's great too. No sense is pushing til you drop. I don't know much about pericarditis but from what I read it can get bad 😕 Have you had that before?
Yeah, it's one of those minor but nagging conditions I get from time to time. Stress can bring it on so it's no surprise at this point. When it comes, there's nothing to do but drop down a couple gears & take ibuprofen until it goes away.
I'm taking your advice. Might still have that thing on Friday so I may not be able to rest then. Gotta love it when you have to keep several plates spinning at once. 😒
@slowdecline48 Stress? I can't imagine you'd be under any stress Slow (joking) Packing up everything you own and heading out to a piece of land you're trying to tame and make into your new home would be extremely stressful. While also dealing with flare ups and headaches and dizziness - plus allergies
The problem with resting during the day is--if you're like me--you wake up in the middle of the night. And can't go back to sleep.
Sometimes you have weird urges, too...they're random. After four in the morning I felt like going to IHOP. Why?... It's a chain restaurant, the epitome of bland. I am a strange creature.
My health issues may force a change in plans...
Am still getting out of this apartment. I will go to my land, & work on it. But I gotta get fixed up, & rather quickly...my body is second-rate. Not good quality genetics. Which is why I hate it so.
The change will be in what I pack & what I'll keep. If I have to throw out everything other than the bare essentials, so be it...jettison excess weight without a second thought. In my adult life I've never been about having lots of possessions in any case.
Am almost ready for another run to the storage facility. I don't want to go with the truck bed less than full...a few more crates packed, & I'll take the rest of my scavved wood. Important papers & some cookware, too.
One aspect of the move I'm happy about: for years I've been unable to keep my place tidy (creative people tend to be messy--that's one reason). As I've been packing stuff up, the clutter is shrinking. Once I toss out what I can let go of, that will blow holes in it. And so far my storage unit is neat...not up to Martha Stewart standards, but I'm not aiming for those. My stuff is fairly organized in there.
Gonna run the load on Sunday. For tonight, I need to stock up on ibuprofen.
I don't want to throw out the condiments in the fridge...wish there was some way to keep 'em good. No way will I use them all up before I leave. Thought about some kinda BBQ mop sauce experiment involving throwing the spice rack at it...only problem is I have few canning jars, no new lids nor a pressure cooker.
Clint Eastwood is 95 years old.
...when he dies, I will certainly be glum for a few days. I'm gonna miss him. When Eastwood kicks the bucket, we'll lose a real one.
@slowdecline48 so true! He's an great actor. I love his westerns. Pale Rider, Two Mules for Sister Sarah, Josey Wales. The Mule and Gran Torino were good too.
How are you doing Slow? Feeling any better?
A bit, yeah. I rested today, too. Took a calculated risk, but I'm not feeling as much pain in the side of my chest now. I also started taking acetaminophen yesterday...wonder if that had anything to do with it?...I figured after using ibuprofen for so long, it was probably a good idea to switch. Drug tolerance & all that.
The problem is there aren't so many days left now...gotta move fast & well. That's always tricky.
@slowdecline48 I'm glad it's not hurting as bad. How much more do you have to do yet?
@mytwistedsoul Some.... I just got home a few minutes ago.
Might not have a full truckload of stuff to move. Even if I do, the only seriously heavy object is my drafting table. Moving that thing will be a b***h...might want some extra muscle, but I'm not sure exactly how to hire it. After the last few items are in storage I'll toss the rest. Then clean the apartment, to an extent.
Still gotta schedule the utilities to be turned off the day after I leave. Also the address change with the post office...that's always fun. 😒 Some of the people working for USPS are almost as bad as DMV flacks.
I read your poem, Twisty... Sounds like you've overcome great resistance recently.
@slowdecline48 I'm trying. Some days it's harder than others but I guess with enough time we realize something we just have to accept. We don't have to like it but it is what is it
I never finished up those old chisels I bought last year...flattened & polished the backs of the blades, but didn't do anything about the handles. (A couple of 'em really need work) By now it's too late. They (& other little projects) will mostly have to wait until after I'm out of this crackerbox & at my place.
Even then, I will only be able to do a few because the first order of business is to clear some space, process what logs are worth it into lumber, stack it all, & then build a storage shed.
...gonna be busier than a one-legged man in an a.ss-kickin' contest.
@slowdecline48 Yeah same... I love his movies.. especially The Good, The bad and the ugly
@azurePond Oh yeah, that's one of his best. The other one I like is Unforgiven. It's kind of an anti-western in western garb. I did watch Million Dollar Baby. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. Normally I'm not one to cry when I watch a movie...but I almost did when it takes a tragic turn in the latter 1/3rd or thereabouts.
@mytwistedsoul - I haven't seen The Mule. If I find it on DVD anywhere, I'll snap it up.
@slowdecline48 Oh yeah, that was definitely one of his best films! And the soundtrack—gives me chills every time… oooohooo wah wah wah (I swear I know how to sing it… or say it… or imitate it?) As for the films you mentioned, I haven’t watched them yet but I’ll definitely add them to my list. I’ve mostly seen Eastwood’s cowboy films—I guess the genre is Westerns.
New rule: no caffeine before bedtime, whenever it is.
I picked up this rule through firsthand foolishness. Today I'm paying the price--in addition to the usual post-push/pull/lift sh!ttyness. Surely it didn't help that I drove back to this old cracker box at around three in the morning.
The knees are feeling a bit delicate today, too....what it all adds up to: right now I ain't doin' jack.
Feeling marginally better after more sleep...I keep waking up, is the issue. I don't sleep like normal people so much as take cat-naps. Supposedly that is how people used to rest back in hunter-forager days, before the Neolithic "revolution"...if that's true, then I'm even more out of place in modern civilization than I thought. 😒
Still some muscle soreness left. It would not be a good idea to move anything heavy today. Know what I want to do next time: toss out stuff I don't need... For several years I made fruit wines at home. Haven't made anything since a bit before 2020, so most of my equipment will be jettisoned. Am keeping the carboys & gallon jugs, however...they're great for storing potable water. Water is one substance I will need plenty of.
I need protein...
You know the dream was bad when you wake up sweaty.
Jesus on toast...sometimes my brain is a horrible place.
Am also a bit dizzy right now... Great. Perfect f***ing timing.
This is one of those days where I don't feel like doing anything...s***. *smh* That's a luxury I cannot afford.
"Without virtue, monarchy decays into tyranny,
aristocracy to oligarchy, democracy decays
to mob rule, and the organization decays
into the cargo cult."
- James McElroy, Cargo Cults and the Disorganization of America
@slowdecline48 Very relevant. Sounds like a prophecy.
I got it from an issue of American Affairs...one of the few paper periodicals today that's still worth reading.
@slowdecline48 I was just wondering about you. How's the move going? Not too many more days left is there? (Sorry being nosy lol) 😅
@mytwistedsoul You're not nosy at all. I'm just glad someone cares enough to ask. No, not too many more days...got thr first week of April & that's it. The bulk of my stuff is in storage now. Gonna toss out some stuff, more than I have already. No prob there since well over half of my physical possessions are scavenged anyway, so I'm not losing money on them.
I wish I'd gotten more done by now...been resting a bit here & there while popping NSAIDs, to make my pericarditis go away. It's been somewhat successful.
...& now I'm tired again. F***.
@slowdecline48 I'm glad the nsaids are helping at least. And that you got the bulk of everything in storage. Are you nervous about the final move? Its good you're not losing any money with tossing things but boy I hate tossing stuff lol Hey you gotta rest. I know it's getting down to the wire and you've got a lot of things that have been trying to work against you. Weather and allergies. Plus with the other health issues - it makes it all the harder
Not at all, Mr. Twisty. I'll take any rest I can get, these days.
Normally I don't like to throw out stuff either, but that's one advantage of "urban treasure hunting": you didn't pay any money for it & you got some use out of it, so if you dump excess stuff then it's not a real loss. Someone else will grab a a few objects that I drop...I'm happy to let him have it.
...aaaaaand it's about 22:20 & I'm wide awake. Dammit.
Oh well. Might as well put the time to good use.
@slowdecline48 That's a good way to look at it - kind of like paying it forward. It served it's purpose for you and now someone else will get some use out of it too