narcissistic abuse
chapter 1.
well im just learning here. but heres my story
i guess i was abuser and karma hit me. i want the punishment.
i want to write a book about abuse. this topic is important for me. and i want people to understand. whats going on in this world
my name is maria. i am 28 years old. i was always a shy person.
i had many problems in this life. it means i did something wrong in previous
i want to write a book. but yes its hard.
i already tried once. now its time for her sister.
so first i would like to say thank you. i miss some people really. its hard now.
But i have 7 cups
sorry for my english
chapter 2
so i was thinking
why did i have so much suppression in my life
why did i deserve
my ex, my sister
what did i do?
like they are hitting me
and i can tell no one
like i am some punching bag
why
why do i give people this opportunity to hit me
why do i want to be hit
I get pleasure for it
I deserved it
because i was a bad person
and its my punishment
can i become a better person?...
first i need to confess
I want to tell our story. This is the story of three people. But honestly it is one person. So..... I have like three parts of me
I had some trauma in the childhood. I think i am running away from it. So i decided to look at it. If i have such opportunity. First of all i have problems with my sister. Before that i had a father. A mother. A granny. I hated doing my homework. But my granny wanted me to do my homework. She was angry when i didnt do it.i mean she really..wanted me to do my homework. She was angry
Unfortunately. Also i had a father. A very bad person. Well thats what my mom said. She didn't want him in her life. Funny. I was her therapist. I was scared of my mother.
We had problems with a place to live. I just realised it. My mom was always anxious. She is not with us anymore. Since 2008. And i dont know how to live. Anyway....
My dad was not living with us. I even dont know if i say this word right. "Dad". My first language is russian. In this life.
I have nowhere to live.
I have a sister enemy.
I am scared. What if i do something wrong.
And i have my ex. Ex boyfriend. Ex husband. Ex friend. I miss him
No one helps me. I dont know how to live anymore. So im gonna just try my best. Set some goals. And try to achieve them..
Honestly i really need friends
I am trying to help myself
I’m so sorry to hear all of this. You definitely deserve to be treated far better! I’m currently dealing with similar circumstances and it’s extremely difficult and scary! Praying that you are in a much better place now…safe, happy, healthy, surrounded by supportive friends, and enjoying life! 🙏🏻❤️ I definitely need to find a friend and/or someone safe to talk to that understands what I’m going through. I know this is a pretty old post but if you happen to still be around here, maybe we could talk—if you feel up to it. Sending lots of love and positive vibes your way! 🙏🏻❤️
This is a nice way to write. Keep going.
I was is in a abusive partner now ex still has ties. With deception, manipulation and dehumanization I was physically hurt by him for 15yrs. My jaw has a crack from the last incident in April 2024. I took am xray as his lawyer said I didn't call 911 none go to.a doctor
I'm really looking how I need to emotionally handle myself in front of him as I have a court hearing in Sept 2025.
I want to tell myself despite hardships, I'm ok and carrying on. But alone I felt so isolated. Especially since he was always at a house neighbor right in front of my eyes, never took the responsibility of an affair till I filed for a petition and put that as emotional cruelty as he is unemployed now and since nov 2023 i'm tied to a mortgage making me to live below my means as I'm renting while he stayed in the house.
If anyone has anxiety or triggers due to any thing.. just someone to understand.. I did think I deserved the beating.. the briusies. I was ashame of myself thinking I'm not good enough and deserving. I still think. I couldn't keep the family together.. My kids are suffering the most because of this but I can't live with him, he is toxic and brings worst in me.