7 Cups experience....

4 days in, first entry ....

I was dreading feeling lonely over the Xmas period which was what lead me to finding 7 Cups. To date I've been taking part in messages, a couple of group chats in the Support Group, interacted with Noni as a tester for what working with a therapist might be like and also with a listener. I've found the experience with Noni particular impactful, very impressed.

Overall I feel welcomed and would like to thank everyone I've interacted with, I'll be a little quieter on days I'm working nights, any tips on sleep gratefully received It's been a lifelong issue, still sleepwalk on rare occasions I sleep long enough to, might share some of the more colourful occasions at some point. The vast majority of the time I barely sleep at all, maybe 2 to 3.5 hrs then i wake and my mind is then too busy to fall back asleep, which isn't really any surprise. I was diagnosed as suffering from PTSD a little over 18 months ago and it's suspected that I've probably got ADHD too (GP 90% certain), currently considering paying for a private assessment.

My overall objective is to continue my personal journal, establish a consistent mindfulness process and aid my progress through 7 Cups with a view too managing my thoughts and therefore emotions better to improve social interactions and in time develop a sense of direction and purpose for the rest of my life. It's not fun merely surviving, hopefully progress to living more and in time thriving 😜😜

No sleep at all this morning after a night shift from ***, but refreshed enough from 3 hrs dosing and light sleep for this tirade 😁😁😁

Be nice to read some comments, be interesting experiment to see how many read this in it's entirety by just naming my favourite sport ?

6 days in and start off a New Year.

Feeling particularly positive today. Fitness wise I relaxed and enjoyed a progression run, a little under 8.5 km in 45 mins on the treadmill. I had been holding back a little for the past 2-3 weeks as all annual goals had been achieved and it was particularly busy at work over Xmas period, chains are off again especially as I'm not back to work until the 8th after my 59th birthday on the 7th. Need to sharpen my top end aerobic fitness a little before cardiologist appointment on 22nd.

I'm pleased the Xmas/New Year period is nearly past. I did feel lonely at times but not as pervasively as expected, partly thanks to having accepted I need a period of reflection and understanding myself better to move forward in a more positive way, finding 7 Cups about a week ago has certainly helped considerably.

I was delighted to discover an awesome new album last night from a FB post, a new band too me and 4 previous albums to explore to. To top that off, I've just listened to another album that has immediately peaked my interest from another FB post, this band has 9 albums to explore and just announced a new one being released early Feb.

One of my gratitude entries in my offline journal is definitely my passion for music and that I'm still enthralled by new releases 😄😄

Not sure where the time has gone, not updated since the 1st Jan not even on my birthday !!

Rather than making occasional community posts I'm going to journal more frequently.

Not a bad day overall today, started off a little low from loneliness but soon picked myself up, enjoyed a giggle and a couple of interactions at the gym, regulars surprised to see me doing, albeit a short one, spin warm up. Going to try and do it daily as it did make a difference as i settled into my run much easier than usual. Also had a nice chat with a young girl on the treadmill next to me during my afternoon walk, she has noticed me regularly and was amazed when i said how old i was, her mum who is a hospital nurse has been encouraging her. I've agreed to help her train to run a Park Run.

Deliberately going to be more mindful of the time I spend on 7 Cups, the interactions are helping with loneliness and not feeling as socially awkward but i have a pile of books i want too read, too many on the go and I'm impulsively adding more to the list from recommendations all the time. It's been a perennial battle, helps that I very rarely watch TV. 

My current hyperfocus is my mental health specifically my future health anxiety so I'm continue to read an awesome recommendation from a listener 'The Body Keeps The Score', hope it might help with rephrasing my fear of the future.

Well so much for updating my journal more frequently, first update since the 19th Jan.

I've got mixed emotions about the time I'm spending on 7 Cups, i get a little frustrated at times when I notice how little progress I'm making with the pile of books I'd like to read, currently reading 'The Body Keeps The Score'. Highly recommended, it has certainly opened my eyes and mind to how much of an impact PTSD has and is having on my day to day life and reinforcing my prime reason for finding a home at 7-Cups, taking about and confronting it head on, hopefully inspiring and helping others as I do so.  I really value the support, interactions and just the wealth of information on 7-Cups. I very rarely check my emails on the address I registered through, it is effectively for the online sites that insist on one and for my android phone. Last night I filtered on 7-Cups and started catching up on the daily emails since I joined, followed a link to 'articles from experts' bookmarked the link and have started digging in, it's lead to this video on PTSD with a survivor around the 8 min mark stating that it helps to tal and seek help and not to fight it alone. It has resonated with me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqDs-2qvd_Y

Yes, I've spent a lot of time on 7-Cups last month but I'm not feeling as lonely as I was, the interactions and conections I have made are helping tremendously not only with loneliness but reinforcing my motivation to continue to confront and move forward. I've at least got a sense of direction and purpose I was struggling with that might help me develop the tools and commitment to at least address my fear of the future.

My total step count for the month was he lowest I've recorded since Nov 24 when i had a chest infection, it's partly down to 7-Cups but mostly a couple of bouts of IBS. I've had bouts of IBS for the last 40 years and know i have to ease back until they pass. I didn't realise that PTSD might be triggering the IBS, myself and GP have just accepted that the lining of my GI system is sensitive from the NSAIDs i have take for arthritis, irritated by my anticoagulants and not helped by my love of running.

This month I'm going to set my task of redressing the balance a little, it's too dangerous for me to be spending as much of my free time seated, so going to make a conscious effort to pick my activity level back up to more normal levels, after a poor start yesterday. The scar tissue in my lungs is more noticeable than normal but that isn't unusual in cold or damp conditions when I'm not as active as normal, i just see it as a warning sign to step back up.

Therapy wise I'm still not decided, going to finish 'The Body Keeps The Score' followed by the polyvagal theory and somantic therapy. Working with a DBT trained therapist is still appealing but I do tend to hyperfocus and cross the i's and t's  as I'm aware that essentially my thoughts and feelings are my own and no one else can change them for me, my opinion is therapists can influence and suggests tools to help but unless I am fully committed to change then I win;t get the full benefit. ADHD overthinking and hyperfocus, I don't think is in doubt 😉😉