An entry to myself.

There shall come a time when I will to say goodbye to roxy (dog), smudge (house rabbit), and my mother. I shall not know when but death is part of life. I will not know what to do. I will end up in a very dark place. Like now, all is lost. I don't know who I am sometimes. The sleep is worsening. Things have changed. I fear my future is kurrupt. Lost so many many people down the road. I am what they call a nobody. I'm not meant to exist. Just thin air is all I am. And meant to be. 3 living souks in real life know I exist. The rabbit the dog and my mother. Forgotten and lost. No one. A nobody. Just an empty dusk with no heart. For those who will say otherwise. You only know me online. That's all u know. I can't protect anyone or anything. I can't even keep friends. I am not a loyal person, I let people down. Don't rely on me, for I am down a darkness path. Don't give your light to me for I do not deserve it. When I'm older in my 30s I will not remember who I am or anyone. I am slowly losing my mind. But I still refuse to accept I am mentally unwell. I forbid it. I am a man. A man who will not be cower under a illness that gets me down. I apologise to everyone here. Your all better than I've been.