Angie's One line a day
Today my mom said your not ok. And shes right im not. I dont even know whats wrong to be honest. I feel really sad right now but then again I feel sad like this every night. Heh this isnt one line
Today im sick and that means no *** school. Im glad i dont have to go but at the same time i already know im gonna have soo much makeup work.
Ahh its so peaceful just sitting by the window, reading listening to the birds- which is what i would be doing if my mom left me alone for once and the random @ss songs in my head stopped playing. the silence can be so loud.
well ive actually been sick for some time i just dicided not to go to school today :P
im so done with my life
why cant i be what everyone wants? why do i have to be what everyone wants?
im fat, im ugly, i cant take care of myself, i cant focus, i cant concentrate, i cant stop fidgeting im never left alone, school work is soo stressful for absolute no reason...
i was doing good i was doing really good why? why does that horrible mother *** called depression have to come back now? i hate myself so much i cant
I feel so so useless all the time, like i can never help anyone and for all i know i really haven't helped anyone
today my mom found out about the sh!tty ipad i was hiding. So that means- no more listening to peaceful music during the night, no more of my little movie nights, no more cups in the night, no more hyper fixating on random things on the internet. basically everything i enjoyed in the night will have to be smushed into the day or just removed from my "schedule" in general. ya know, the night is the only time i feel at peace and to have that peace taken away is a little depressing. Thanks mom :/
i did it i let the intrusive thoughts win
i self-harmed again
and now i just want to do it over and over and over...
the worst part is that i was grinning while doing it
what the actual f0ck is wrong with me
im confused. theres too many emotions and feelings. idk what to do about life tbh
im so tired....
everything's so foggy and scrambled up in my head and i cant think straight.. sleep is supposed to help so why isnt it helping me? I now get about 9 hours of sleep every day which is a huge improvement from 3 but every day the headaches are getting progressively worse and i get more and more tired. i dont understand. wth is wrong with me... i wanna cry
sorry
im sorry
im actually so slow and stupid its funny. at least i know it...
somtimes i feel like everyone in the world has made a consecutive- big boy word- discission to just completely ignore and shun me. And when they're not doing that they're taking advantage of me or making fun of me. humans are cruel :/ ive been thinking...thinking about death more and more even though im relatively happy. no. thats a lie and its so wierd because my emotions are all over the place all the time. I have absolutley no control. I could go from feeling like breaking to laughing so hard my stomach hurts to simply being numb. and anger.. anger is so so complicated
help
🎶Oh captin lets make a deal where we both say the things that we both really feel i feel scared and im starting to sink and i only sink deeper the deeper i think🎶