Are Forgiveness and Self-Respect related to each other?
If someone does wrong to us and we forgive them and be with them normally without holding any grudges or hard feelings, then does it show that we don't have self respect?
I've seen a few of my peers who just act normally with those who have not behaved appropriately/morally with them. But in similar situations, I do not do the same. I feel bad for what people have done to me and hold grudges and hard feelings for them. I start maintaining distance and cut them off of my life completely. And I do this out of my self respect because I believe that if I talk to them normally even when they have not behaved appropriately then I will lose my self respect.
What are your views on this?
It's a good question, some people need to be liked by everyone, so I think they'll tend to forgive more and not see the maliciousness - yet...
Other people, see it for what it was, a thoughtless comment or act and maybe it was, so they forgive and maybe pay attention to see if this behaviour continues..
Some found it so hard to trust in the first place, that when they let people get close and it's betrayed, it seems unforgivable.
You can still respect yourself and forgive, I think the issue is, when someone continually does it and you endlessly forgive, then I would question that.
Ultimately, none of us are perfect but each of us have buttons to be pushed and boundaries that should not be crossed.
@ScrabbleBrain
I agree.
What can be done so that we forgive the person for our mental peace but also take a stand for our self respect in a way that the other person gets to know clearly that we have taken out stand and making them realize that they were wrong?
@VelvetVibes1234 If you feel able too, express it to them and say something like.. I'm still feeling hurt and betrayed by you.
It's been really difficult to process all of it but I want to forgive or work on forgiving you, although it may take me some time and you'll have to be patient.
I may also wish to know, the reasons behind it and this may also change my mind about how I see you or relate to you from now on.,
I don't think you can make someone atone or feel guilt for wrongdoing. It's up to them, they may see it as not a big deal, that you've misinterpreted them, that it was a harmless joke etc..
If they ask you, what they can do to fix it, that shows they care and are trying at least, to salvage it.
Some may also feel embarrassed or ashamed and not know what to say or do.
@ScrabbleBrain
Right
Thank you for sharing this. It's a really deep question.
I think forgiveness and self-respect are different things.
Forgiving means you don't carry the poison inside you anymore.
Self-respect means you also don't let people hurt you again.
So you can forgive someone in your heart, but still keep distance to protect yourself.
Both can exist together.
Your way of cutting people off to protect yourself is also valid.
Everyone's boundary is different.
What do you think?
@Sharing3312
I agree to your point.
I just wonder that if I forgive but don't maintain distance then does it show that my self respect doesn't matter to me?
You can forgive someone completely for your own peace while still deciding whether or not they have earned a spot in your inner circle.
@Sharing33
Got it. Thanks for sharing. 🙌🏻
