Eva’s Crazy Mind
i’ve wanted to make a forum post like that for quite a while now, but never brought myself to actually make it. here i will write up all sorts of thoughts and vents, everything i need to get off my mind. it’s not gonna be positive or motivational, not even close. i personally don’t recommend reading it just because it doesn’t help lol. you’re welcome to read, replies are okay, just be aware that it’s gonna be a pretty dark place. i don’t usually ask for help despite telling everybody to. idk why. i’m not a very good example of what’s right to do. TW just in case, not planning to go that far but who knows.
i’m making myself this space because sometimes you can feel lonely while being surrounded by a million people and that’s nobody’s fault.
best wishes to you. ❤️
“too sad to be normal but not sad enough to be counted as mentally ill”.
numb but also not at the same time.
i’m so *** detached from the world and my life that if i died i doubt i’d even *** notice
like i literally wouldn’t even realise it.
i’ve done nothing useful today.
this one thought that’s been on my mind for the whole day. but i think it’s too much, even for this thread lol. mm.
@justmeeva
*if this feels random/weird/uncomfy then feel free to ignore what i’ve written here, no pressure to read/reply* im sorry 😅
(perhaps eva beanie can make an extra diary thread for other topics/those topics? and maybe ask for no replies in that thread/whatever your comfy with…? idk just an idea.
me thinks since this is your diary space you should be allowed to express yourself freely and without judgement friend. 🥺 …at least that’s how it should be. it’s your diary space. <3)
@LoveMyMoonflowers
i’ve thought about it actually <3 but i feel like my overthinker brain would then start to have a hard time deciding where to post what o_o like- so that’s why there’s not another thread rn (yet?) lol. but the idea is good <3
@justmeeva
yep, i get the overthinking. sometimes i feel like our brains can start running off in different directions. (not literally running off lmao) and the overthinking can get in the way. even if we want to start a new thread our brains just get in the way and make it so much harder to do so :/
@LoveMyMoonflowers
mhm exactly <3 :’)
@justmeeva
huggies you if okie <3
@LoveMyMoonflowers
*huggles* 🩷
i made the mistake of reviewing some memories. from all the fun and sweet moments i’ve had in the group chats. i miss them. my friends. i haven’t seen most of them for months. i have no idea how most of them are doing. some have left cups for one reason or another. i really really *** miss them. but i can’t go back there now. because i can’t just pop in one time after months and then leave again. it wouldn’t be fair to anyone. so i’ll just keep missing them. and hope they’re okay. and feel sorry.
oh i really *** wish i would’ve done it.
moms calling oof.
she asked how i was doing w the assignments and i said i finished only 1 of them (lie lmao) and she said “well that’s something at least” (she’s in a good mood it seems) and then she talked about taking me to school tomorrow which made me silently cry <33