Jemmy And Her Very Loud Thoughts
Hullo friends! I made this forum to keep in touch with my friends when I age up on January 6th, 2024. I plan on updating this forum at least once a week once I age up so everyone knows what's up with me. This is also a good document of what happens and what will happen in my adult life as I keep going. I was gonna make the forum a little later in the month but I thought it would be good to start now so that way everyone has time to find it (and share it if I'm not online to do so).
lol Member Community Room got nuked I don't know why
@JemmyX0X0 wait wdym? :o
@LoveMyMoonflowers the community went down for a couple mins at the time lol
@JemmyX0X0 ohhh i see
Updates on just about...everything :D
June ??? I earned my entry lvl python programming certification
July 8th thru August 16 I was a Social Media Intern for a non-profit
July 21st was my brother's birthday
August 2nd I got my ears pierced
August 23rd I won a trip from my organization to go to a trip to an event in Texas (Nov. 13th-16th)
August 26th my brother started 12th grade
September 9th, back to work and we're learning more programming stuff
September 20th my ears healed enough and I changed my earrings to something cute for the day while I was out with a friend
Here are the earrings in question 😃
@JemmyX0X0
Jemmy omg your so pretty <3
btw its Piaaaal username change again lol
@TheSpiderSystem PiaalllllL!!! I missed you ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆
@JemmyX0X0
get ur booty on cups bbg we in the adult side
@TheSpiderSystem I tried to check your profile but I can't access it Q_Q
That feeling when you buy something new and the sticker comes clean off 😋
Why do I feel like I have less assignments but more stress? I shouldn't be behind like this!
┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻
I need to study more! I have more time in the day now that I'm not in school this should be my era!! Perioddddd
Why does everyone think I'm smart but I think I'm behind/slow? What in the imposter syndrome is this?
Going to Houston, Texas on Wednesday for AfroTechhhh I'm so excited :)
I love playing Fantasia
I took a couple of hits at my coding assignment this morning for 2 hours. It's tough (and still not done) but I focused for 2 HOURS. How about that? ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.*:☆
Managed to keep distractions to a minimum and I'm still learning many things but a win is a win in my book <3
Entry 12/23/2024
Omg my birthday is in two weeks ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.*:☆
@JemmyX0X0
hope u have a good b day
@Heartsandrosesandpaws I did not but I'll be alright :D
Hello frens
It is 11:48 PM and due to a gazillion things wrong with me plus procrastination problems I am now doing assignments very late. However, I am 2/3 done with the one I'm currently working on. It's due Friday but I convinced myself it was due tomorrow. I'll be alright. :)
Mega Yikes Life Update
Last night, unfournately, I had a panic attack.
Why? The teacher sent out project status check meetings, and I experienced the worst flight or fight I have had in a long time. I couldn't breathe and my throat almost closed up. I spiraled so bad I cried forever. This was about 9 PM and I spent that time journaling and trying to ground myself with rainstorm white noise. I went to bed to try and breathe but woke up at around 1 AM sweating. So I tried to do my homework (at one am? really Jennifer?) but got lost from fear. I talked to Noni about some stuff (I think they added AI to her, neat update she's so personable lol) and when I sorted out most of my thoughts, I rambled talked to a listener for an hour (bless them 😭😭 so kind bruh)
Most of the topic was me venting about very obviously and possibly having ADHD and they sent me some resources to help my butt out. The video in the forum was basically my life verbatim and I spoke about wanting to get tested one day but alas when I looked up the prices for such exams and therapy it's like, several hundred dollars. Why so expensive 'Murica?
Anyways so I had the project check in with the teacher and also my coach (because of the way the program is structured they're technically my employers but I'm trying to keep it simple to understand in the context of the moment) and I'm basically shaking and so they ask me what's up and as I talk I feel myself crying and slowly crashing out (emotional dysregulation + sleep deprived + anxious) and (un)surprisingly they said that they were glad I opened up and that it sounded really hard (I described the ADHD symptoms and how long I'd been going up and down with my progress but didn't outright say it bc idk how well that would translate). Teacher said I was really strong for sharing and that he really wanted to help me progress through the program because one, I'm one of the only women in the program and two, when I lock in for real, I produce amazing stuff and I almost cried again cuz what? xD
Between my mental health and my physical health, I have a lot of work to do to get back to my peak self but at the same time at least I know I can cry in front of them. (That's a massive step because I HATE crying in front of people, even my parents and my friends.) I think I'm going to write some of their words on a sticky note so I can carry it constantly and remind myself that I have support <3
Last night might've sucked and I'm still kind of crying (hiding in the side office in the corner to calm down lol) but I feel lighter in a way. I just need to lock in hard and get my bag you know? If I can get past this, I can definitely get past so much more.
If my friends on the teenie side is reading this, I miss yall. And if you're an adult randomly finding this forum, thanks for reading through my messy writings
