Lost .....

I am lost in my mind. The vast darkness is slowly consuming me. Overthinking every thing. Taking a happy thought and letting it slowly turn into this awful spiral of negativity.

I am not able to pull my self out of the quicksand of my brain. I worry all the time about everything.

This last year has been filled with so many changes and challenges. I want to rewind the clock, 4 years ago when our family was whole and happy. When there were not vacant seats at our dinner table. When everyone was happy and thriving.

I know people come into our lives for a reason and leave because their time with us is over. It doesn't make it any easier.

Empathy overwhelms me with the hurt of a long time member of our family who is nolonger a part of it. Not because they did anything wrong but because someone else feeling changed.

This loss I feel deep in my soul. The light they brought to our lives was so bright. The sweet, general nature of their soul drew all of us in. I know they will go on to do great things with their life and that helps but the pain they are feeling haunts me.

I feel too much for too many.....The ache is deep in my chest. The tears fall silently down my face.

Maybe one day I will be able to stop feeling so much for so many. Stop overthinking and just find the happiness I use to have.