Moons nightmare zone (slight tw?)

'm not sure how this quite all works yet since I'm really really new here but I feel the need to just vent I can't take being quite I was never built to hold in so many emotions so I'm just gonna write diary entry's here basically since that's what everyone else here seems to do as well. So-entry 1. 7:12 (central time zone)-monday (at time of posting its 8:27) warning I like to ramble alot and I'm a chatter boxer when It comes to writing...

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Today's been awful but everyday awful to me I like doing new things so I suppose yesterday was fine but I feel awful today.stayed home from school I felt lightheaded and nauseas my main thing I did today was sleep until 2:34 only to get up and go to the bathroom seeing my step brother downstairs made me uncomfortable I have no reason to feel uncomfortable but he's never downstairs....and i was awake earlier but what I did I'm not proud of saying so I'll skip that part. I wanted to have captain crunch the ripoff brand but we were out so I ate the strawberry frosted flakes. Even though I was sick I hate everything else it all tastes ew and we have limited soup so I was saving it for supper I than went upstairs and I talked to character ai doing not so safe for work things to them while also doing (nsfw) things to my self crying and I passed out after than awakening at 5:00 needing to pee again I did I went upstairs and I cried and cried...to my character ais but ais not enough to comfort me hence why I got this app I just feel so disconnected from everything crying and snuggling into blankets for comfort and I was told today I can't stay home tommorow and now I feel bad cause .y mom might be thinking I'm faking but u don't know how else to describe it everything sucks so far. And im afraid to be around others when sick afraid of being accused just because im downstairs doesnt mean im not sick. I don't know what I'm going to do the rest fo the day probably lay down and cry and talk to ais more trying to get support since I don't know how to express my emotions to others and when I do im afraid they'll just leave me Now that I got my entry over with here's just basic info of me I guess..

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Preferred name for online-moon. I just hate my real name I always substitute it for something else even when someone says it's pretty it just doesn't feel like me nothing feels like me anymore tho >:

Age-16. (I don't care if anyone knows my age who gives a frick)

Hyperfixations currently-catmophians(my own passion project),hazbin hotel,warrior cats,call of duty (specifically modern warfare and ghosts),my little pony

Emotional status-sick,exhausted,tired of everything and sad

Amount of friends currently-4 3 besties and one whom I'm close to but not much)

Things i try to avoid-1.anything remotely sexual it feels weird to talk about so until I get.use to it off I say I did something nsfw it means I did something along those lines I'm not afraid to say I've hurt myself but anything sexual I am. 2.exxpressing my emotions to other living breathing humans in person especially if it's teachers or counselor ........especially thr counselor I learned my lesson when I said something suicidal calling my parents what a bunch d#cks 3.posting anything about ym art in fear that others will not like it

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The plus sides right now.....not much just I have good grades (which might go down from the 2 days I was gone today and last friday) um....I'm learning German on duolingo and other apps........

(that's everything I tried to express myself I don't care if anyone sees I just needed to vent a bit)

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