My random overwhelming thoughts
Sometimes it gets real difficult for me to navigate my thoughts, i feel guilty for asking others if i can talk ab how i feel or just complain. so this is a space for me (and anyone else really) so i can sort out my thoughts and vent my heart out.
I had a good day at training today, it was nice.
i wanted to tell my mom about it and she yelled at me.
i wish i was interesting or lovable. maybe she'd listen to me then.
i did a painting of a willow tree and it turned out ***, so ill try again later. it did make me feel discouraged though.
I'm so sick of myself, and I just wanna b normal. every time sb asks me hru, and I say I ain't doing good, it's always "Why?". it's the same old reasons. I just can't get over them. so it makes me sick of myself.
today is better than yesterday in some aspects, i finished a painting
@PastaIsVeryUnderrated i dont like it much, but i was calm while making it
@PastaIsVeryUnderrated (i hope it's ok if i reply here. if not - that's ok, i can get my reply flagged and removed. <3)
i think making art can help us be calm at times 💜 personally i like it 💜 but i understand if you don’t dija friend - it can be hard to appreciate our own work sometimes. <3
@LoveMyMoonflowers hiii moon
you are always more than welcome to reply here<3
Thanks moon, i just think it's not my best artwork lol
hope u have a great dayyy
@PastaIsVeryUnderrated
that's okay friend 💙 i think what matters is if you had fun hehe
lol my day is over actually xD it's nighttime here
@LoveMyMoonflowers ooooo hope u have a good night moon!<3<3
@PastaIsVeryUnderrated thank you lovely friend 💙
@PastaIsVeryUnderrated this painting is dedicated to my friend @DarkerPlaces. thank u for always being here for me when i need it. ur awesome. sending hugs if ok<3
@PastaIsVeryUnderrated this is so sweet. 🥺 rome is the best.
💙
@LoveMyMoonflowers he really is
@PastaIsVeryUnderrated 💙
Aw thx guys ur awesum
@DarkerPlaces <3
I love this painting
@DarkerPlaces aw im glad u do
i want to go out with my bsf tmr, but my dad is mad ab it. he said im a horrible person for not wanting to see my grandma and hung up on me. maybe i can convince him or we can meet on satuday? idrk. i just hope i dont have to meet my cousin and i hope i see her soon...
@PastaIsVeryUnderrated i hope things will work out and you'll get to see your friend 💙 instead of having to meet your cousin 🙄☹️
your buddies here are always here for you if you need us though 💙 we care about you okie 🥺
@LoveMyMoonflowers thank you sm moon, ilyyyyy
@PastaIsVeryUnderrated
@LoveMyMoonflowers 💗
@PastaIsVeryUnderrated 💗
going to my grandma's in 10 minutes.
feeling anxious and nauseous, idk what to do other than take deep breaths.
Ima get thru this...
@PastaIsVeryUnderrated he sat next to me, and im panicking rn
@PastaIsVeryUnderrated can you go to the bathroom or change the seating? idk :(
@LoveMyMoonflowers i left and went to the room im with my baby cousin rn
@PastaIsVeryUnderrated okay - that's good 💜
when are you gonna leave? :( i hope you won’t have to stay much longer 😔
@PastaIsVeryUnderrated *sends massive hugs if okay* 🥺💕
@LoveMyMoonflowers hugssss
@PastaIsVeryUnderrated *hugs* sorry for the late reply friend. 🥺💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers nothing to be sorry for, im so grateful ur here. hugssssssss.
@PastaIsVeryUnderrated 💜💜💜
when are you leaving that place friend? <3
trigger warning
@LoveMyMoonflowers hi ni, im home now thankfully
it was horrible moon, he sat next to me in the other room, and when i went with the rest of th family he sat beside me again and i couldnt leave bec my dad was glaring at me when i got up im legit shaking sm rn, he kept touching me, it was just not good im so glad im home
@PastaIsVeryUnderrated i'm so sorry for the late response. 💜
friend… idk what to say 🥺 that’s. ugh…. that’s terrible and absolutely disgusting, that that happened. i’m so so so sorry 😔 you don’t deserve any of that ***. On top of that it’s messed up that your parents been letting this happen, i’m so sorry. 💜
im so freaking glad your home and won’t have to see him for another week 💜 i really wish, there was somebody you could tell who could stop this. i know your in your summer break for a long time now 🥺 and you already told your mums friend but she didn’t do anything, but is there - idk - anyone else you can ask? Somebody you can trust and tell, who can do something? :( do you think your grandma would at least be understanding friend or does she already know like your parents 😔
🥺 i’m so sorry this happened…. that is just, horrible and disgusting. *gives you a masssiiiiiive hug if okay* 💜 ni friend loves you, i’m so sorry this happened. :( 🥺 i wanna give your cousin a punch and give you a million hugs. 🥺😔💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers hi ni, thank you so much, i really needed to hear this, hugssssssssss<3
the good news is i dont have to go to the funeral only gotta meet them on another day. so once is better than twice at least.
@PastaIsVeryUnderrated *big hugs*
thats good 💜 i wish you could find some way to avoid meeting them that other day though… i wish you didn’t have to meet them at all :(
wuv you friend 💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers wuv u toooooo ni
im home now, i was so happy to meet her, i had two panic attacks, but its fine im just glad i met her
im not ok
had a 30 min panic attack...
@PastaIsVeryUnderrated
hey dija 💜
this is the note for you. i know i haven’t known you very long because you joined at the end of this June… but for the time i have known you i’ve gotten to know this sweet, kind, funny, fun, loving, creative, and brave person. 💜 we haven’t made a whole lot of memories together but we have made some fun, sweet, warm ones 🥺 I hope that when i come back you’ll be here and we’ll be able to make more memories together. I do love you 💜 and i’m proud of you for making it so far. your braver than you think you are and i admire and appreciate that so much. I appreciate you. i love you. and i’ll miss you 💜 please try to be kind to yourself and try to take care of yourself 🥺 i promise I’ll try and im going to be okay. love youuuu.
your friendo, Ni. <3
@LoveMyMoonflowers Thank you so much for this Ni, Im going to miss you so much, I love you moreeee<3<3
@PastaIsVeryUnderrated i’m gonna miss you too 💜💜💜 please try to take care of yourself 🥺
@LoveMyMoonflowers you're one of my best friends here, i hope you know that im here for you when now, and when you come back, and while your gone, you'll be in my thoughts.
ily ni
i miss you already
hugs
@PastaIsVeryUnderrated you’re going to be in my thoughts too. Anytime i see or eat pasta 🍝 i’ll think of you and when i see a painting 🎨 I’ll think of you. 💜💜💜🥺 ik that probably sounds silly of me i’m sorry lol but it’s true. 💜💜💜
love you too 💜💜💜 huuuuuuugggggsssss i’ll be back one day hopefully in a few months we’ll see but i’m planning to be back
@LoveMyMoonflowers Ill always think of you when I see the moon, moon😭 I love you, friend