Rhys’s diary of literally random stuff

  I don't know if we're having school tomorrow. It's weird because the school hasn't even updated us. I'm hoping we don't so that I can just go home and continue sleeping. I'm so tired nowadays and I feel so drained and exhausted. I have to wake up though at 4AM to do class, but I'm gonna wake up at 3 instead to memorize my lesson which I didn't actually do and so that I can eat suhoor because I'm gonna fast again tomorrow. 
  If school gets canceled tomorrow, their might honestly be a chance that my test does as well, assuming that we don't have school on wednesday, which I hope we don't since thats when my test would be pushed back to. After that is when our break starts and on Thursday, I'm going to India and so that means the test is pulled back till after break which is honestly better since I don't really understand this unit in Math right now and honestly haven't done very much. 
  The email probs wont be sent till tomorrow morning since their still analyzing the damage the storm probably has done, but my school is in a very flood prone zone so I think we're good anyways. I just want break to start and all of this to be over so that then I can do whatever I want, and also because I have to finish something in English and I need 4 paragraphs for it, but so far i've only written one paragraph so I'm very behind and I have to do everything tomorrow since I'm supposed to submit everything on Wednesday and tomorrow is Tuesday. So yeahhhh, pretty sure I'm cooked, but if tomorrow is a virutal day, I'll have plenty of time to get everything done. Wish I hadn't procrastinated all day today though. That was pretty bad honestly and Im definitely gonna regret it if Wednesday isn't canceled and I end up going to school. 

  So school got canceled again today. My test in Math is basically delayed but I have to take it tomorrow if we have school. The area our school is in gets flooded fast because they don't have proper drainage systems in the Eastern province for whatever reason. I don't care about the test, I'd just like school to be canceled either way. I would basically have zero work for tomorrow then because I don't have to study or actually do anything. Besides, It already feels like school has started and the rain is expected to ramp up to a whopping 70% at 4PM so it'll be hard for them to drain everything out since teh rain only stops at 9PM so I don't know how they're gonna manually pull out all the water by 6PM either way. It doesn't sound logical but I might as well just start preparing for my test anyways just in case. 
  We're going to India on thursday night and I really don't want to go. It's not that I don't like India or anything, it's just that I get bored there cuz I have no one. Their isn't really anything for me to do there except get lectured by everyone on how I need to learn how to cook more and how I'm gonna settle one day and have a family. Just yesterday, my dad was going on about how their is a prime age to get married and how it's usually 20-21 and all this stuff. 
  I don't even really care. I only paid attention to half of it honestly. We talked more about university planning, where I want to go, etc; and we talked about a summer program that's happening in Yale this summer. Something like the Yale graduate scholars program or something that I might attend. I mean I'm gonna apply but It's Yale, they're an Ivy and I'm sure they're like super competetive and idk my grades last year weren't that great. It's only because of my grades this year that are semi-good. Depends honestly because the semester hasn't closed yet but if we don't have school tomorrow, we only have a break and a week after break till the semester officially ends. Hopefully that's how it is. Hopefully we don't have school because I can't go back there. Everytime I walk into that school, a part of me dies. A part of me is dying honestly. 
  Thinking about the summer makes me feel a little better though. We're going to the US and well usually I hate going to the US as well but at least I have people there and again, I'm thinking of going to that summer program so I might not even have to stay home either way. Besides, I'll be learning a ton of stuff about what I actually want to do in the future. I'm gonna just apply to a bunch of places and hope that I get accpeted I guess. I really want to go to Southwestern Medical centers one though because they have a really good psych program, it's just that I'm scared since the rest of the kids will probs know each other and I'm a shy kid and kinda introverted. I really don't want to be all alone in a whole different country in a program by myself. 

  Is it bad that a part of me is still hoping that we don't go to school. It's just wishful thinking and everything and I know that but a part of me just isn't ready. I'm not ready to go back there and take that test. My test anxiety and the stress from procrastinating so much is flaring up horribly. It's 8:10 PM and the ministry only makes announcements between 7-10 and I don't wanna lose hope but honestly its wishful thinking. I just dont want to go. I feel so overwhelmed. I feel like just crying so much. I dont even know enough to get a B honestly. Please, I just want school to be canceled and test to be moved after break. I'm not ready to go back there, I just want it canceled. In Sha Allah. 

Just got to India. Flight was long and we had a layover in Mumbai. The Mumbai airport is sooooo slow. I thought that for such a big city, they would at least move things a bit quicker but the immigration officers were so slow and we were in line for 2 hours. We only had a 3 hour layover and honestly, we nearly missed our flight! I hope we just get a direct flight to Hyderabad next time because they’re so much faster. We were running around all of Mumbai airport and man my legs feel absolutely dead. I’m so exhausted and wanna go to sleep but it’s almost 5 PM and if I sleep now, then I won’t be able to sleep at night and then I’ll end up waking up at like 12 PM tomorrow which would be a full waste of time. The worst part of this whole thing was that when I was in the plane to Mumbai, I got my period in the seat. Now I had predicted that my period was gonna come soon so I already had a pad on thankfully, but my stomach, back, thighs, calves, and even my feet hurt. Idk why my feet feel numb and tingly but I googled it and it’s something called dysmenorrhea where you get cramps tha start in your stomach and the pain goes down to the feet during a period. Idk how accurate that is since it’s from google lol

My head is basically killing me though. The pain radiates down to my neck and shoulders and oh it hurts sooo bad.

Okay well I did end up falling asleep for maybe an hour. Only because mom made me but I do intend to sleep early tonight anyways. I feel so fatigued like my head, neck, shoulders, thighs, calves, and feet and just everything hurt so much right now. I don’t know if that’s just because of my period, sleeping cramped in the plane, or just emotional exhaustion from everything. The nap didn’t really help. If anything it honestly made it worse. I got a pandora though from my Nani so hopefully I feel better I guess 🤍