Rhys’s diary of literally random stuff
I just want a space where I can dump things completely random—just anything. The title means exactly what it sounds like and I’ll probably be posting writings, and maybe more personal stuff on here as well ❤️
Got busy yesterday. That’s why I didn’t post. I had to get a haircut and I have this spot in my scalp that has really bad dandruff on it and that whole sore was burning pretty badly. I put oil on it. Today was okay but we put mendi on so it’s kinda hard to type. It’s like all cracking away but the color is pretty good honestly. I like it. Besides I don’t get to put mendi on often and so honestly I’m loving this experience 🤍🤍🤍
Idk what to do. I’m actually planning on getting things done. I might end up going to my dads parents house though since it’s more quiet there. I just don’t like that house though like the tiles on the floor are black, the ceiling is weird and rocky, and the lighting annoys me. Idk I don’t really wanna go and at 2 PM all my cousins are leaving to some place called Flipside to do go karting. The house should be free and my moms parents house is much better anyways. I have my laptop on charging and it’s only like 10% so I’m gonna have to wait till 2PM anyways to get everything charged and stuff so that I can actually start studying.
Anyways we put some henna on yesterday and it was amazing. I mean I like henna but I hate those flaky bits that just like keep popping off and it falls all over the floor. It gives me the ick. The worst thing is eating. Even if you’re eating with a spoon, it all falls into your plate and it’s disgusting. My grandmother was eating yesterday with a spoon and their was just a little pile at the corner of her plate with the flaky bits of henna and it was so disgusting because if was biryani and it’s basically mixed in with oil and who knows what and I was sooo ready to throw up from how gross it was 🤢
I’m so frustrated. This is the one day where all the kids are gonna be out and my one free day to actually maybe get stuff done but I can’t because I’m basically being forced to go out somewhere to shop or i don’t even know what but I just know it’s something dumb. I hate this and god I wanna yell but I’ll probs get in trouble.
I actually didn't go, lol. I convinced them to let me stay. I'm exhausting right now. I need to do an emotional reset and clear my mind before I start studying. I'm so behind and I need to do at least 3 sections everyday. I'm drinking some coffee though I cant lie, the Coffee here tastes kinda bad. I mean its not bad but its just really strong and I like mine sweet. With lots of sugar which sure I know it's unhealthy but idk once a habit sticks, its hard to break it off :) Lolll
Okay so I actually did not end up studying and the kids are back. I mean I think It's really just my younger brother but really I should get stuff done. It's just so much on my mind and really I should get stuff done. Things feel tiring though. It feels exhausting actually and I want to study, like I really do, but I cant get myself to get up and study and I dont even know why. I'm just dead right now, inside and everywhere. Maybe I'm exaggerating it, and honestly I dont know. Everything kinda feels sluggish lately. I dont even know how to explain it. Maybe its cuz its friday and the day I actually start to get things done is saturday. Tomorrow though I'm gonna wake up early and get stuff done. I have to do that. I'll do it after Fajr and stay up and study. It's the only time that will be filled with some semblance of peace and quiet. Nobody wakes me up though, so I'll have to charge my phone and get it done as soon as possible honestly. Then I can set an alarm up for myself because for some reason my aunt didn't wake me up last night.
Never mind, all the kids are here. My minds been racing today and everythings going different. I mean one year ago, it was worse so I'm grateful that this is going better. Even if its still hard now, at least its better then whatever the heck was going on last year anyways. Things are going slow, but I mean I guess its not as slow as last year so thats good. Oh and btw I entered a second writing competetion. Idk it was good but I feel like I dont put enough effort and stuff into what I write so its just eh. I mean what I wrote this time is deep and I like it alot and honestly I think I have a better chance at winning then I did the month before in that competetion. They definitely weren't looking for deep stuff. I think they were looking for more of a thriller but their are like 550 different people who submitted their pieces but I mean the month before, it was 1000+ pieces so I mean, at least the odds are better I guess.
I haven't really gotten much of a chance to post long stuff but anyways, that day that I didn't post, it was because I had to go to the salon and get a haircut. My mom also made me get a cleanup because I have a lot of black heads but its so annoying cuz they do an extraction with that metal pointy thing and I hate it cuz It hurts so much. My mom and aunt dont listen and they say that you have to feel pain in order for it to come out. Im pretty sure that their are risks in that because it leaves scars and I hate it honestly. It's so painful. I also got a wax done on my arms cuz yeah my mom. I have more hair, like a lot of it, on my arms so she made me get one and I mean, I wasn't scared cuz I know the wax wasnt gonna hurt that much, and it honestly didn't. I'm mad but also kinda stunned at how my arms look hairless. Idk thats kinda weird to say, but for the first time, they feel smooth honestly.
Anywyas, I should go and study. Idk my mind still doesnt feel clear but whatever it feels somewhat better and I have to study anyways. I'll just listen to a vid or something but hoenstly laziness is really getting to me and I put my blanket hoodie on which is making me feel sleepy. I'm tired to my bones and its lowkey exhausting me.
Past 2 AM and still cannot sleep. It’s so hot In here for some reason.
My eyes sting though and feel heavy from exhaustion but I can’t sleep and I suppose being on my phone isn’t helping. I should go before mom comes and checks and takes my phone away 😞
I did manage to sleep but I didn't wake up for Fajr. Technically I did but fell back asleep cuz I was so tired and now I feel guilty. I have to make up for it, but I've been lazing around all morning. I feel tired and I have to study but we're having guests come over. It's fine. I'll just lock myself up in the room for a bit and start studying. It's not that deep anyways. I just hope they dont bring one of my cousins with them cuz well I don't like that particular cousin. Think that they're weird.
Yesterday, some random listener guy messaged me randomly to my listener account and he was being weird. He wouldn't tell me who he was or why he was texting, just vaguely mentioned the fact that his ex was in the hospital and that he felt stressed but said that he didn't want to talk about it and wanted a distraction and I was so confused. He was being weird as well and said that he wanted to talk to a "good girl" and kept asking me if I was one and I just said that I had to go and sleep and whatever and then left. This morning I woke up and couldn't find any of those texts and I'm kinda glad. I think 7 cups must have blocked him. Thank god for that honestly. Lol that guy was a weirdo.
Well never mind. I’m doing my self studying but it’s so like terrible and so hard and idk what to do about it. I’m struggling like crazy with it. I spent two hours on basically just one section. That was the desert biome and I like just couldn’t focus at all. It was terrible. I’m so exhausted as well and well their is some happiness cuz I talked to this person and they make me feel better. Very sweet and nice and idk but makes me feel better.
I’m kinda tired and I plan to go to sleep at 12 and then wake up at 5:30 AM. I didn’t even pray Isha and I have to do that first. I have some really bad habits honestly. With my notes for APES, im trying to take them myself from the text book but idk it’s so tiring. I don’t know what the important things are and I just keep getting confused because im not able to understand everything properly. I keep trying to memorize too much but i know that I don’t need to do that. It’s just that I like to understand everything and know stuff. Idk it’s good but for this, it’s not. I mean I only have like 5 months to do 9 chapters and I wasted 2 months cuz I procrastinated but I can’t do that now. Im gonna fast soon. It’ll be soon like day after tomorrow or something.
I can’t sleep again lol 😂
I don’t ever actually end up still til like 2 AM in India honestly but I gotta wake up early and get back into the grind for APES. It’s probs necessary considering I hardly got anything done today. At least I tried to get stuff done yknow. Lol that also matters honestly.
I blocked him. Idk he was a nice guy but I mean he pushed some boundaries though but made me feel comforted. Idk it's something that I haven't felt in a long time, but still, I know it wasn't right. Besides, the moment I started talking to that guy, I felt guilty and idk sure he was sweet but he pushed boundaries. If he cared, he wouldn't have done that and pushed my boundaries like that. idk I dont have time ill say it all later.
