Rhys’s diary of literally random stuff

  Idk why but someone is doing fireworks and its loud and kinda annoying cuz Im getting into sleep mode. I'm honestly tired and today we went to the exibition where there were clothes and jewerly and stuff. Idk I just wanna grow up and do things myself. It feels awkward when one of my aunts or uncles takes me to get clothes because I feel like they're hovering over me, and also because it's awkward cuz I don't wanna ask for a lot since they're the ones paying and all. Just the other day, me and my aunt went to get clothes, and I mean their were quite a few things I liked, but I think she secretly didn't like some of them, cuz she would look at it and not say anything. I mean I kinda liked some stuff and the colors she was choosing were just not me really. I love pinks, pastel purple and like a nice satin or deep purple shade, I love midnight blue, and i love Yellows, and also like sage green. I'nm more of like a spring type pallete I guess with the excpetion of like a few colors. At least that's what I've considered myself to be, but they always pick out clothes that just look kinda boring to me. I mean I wear lots of florals and I love dress style kurtis and stuff but they just don't listen to that. 
  Today I saw a baby blue dress and it was stunning. Like genuinely, but again, I just got too shy and whatnot. I mean one of my aunts did get me a blue dress with a very similar color, but to be honest, the design isn't that amazing on it. Like their are two styles and one is with a very intricate design and the other is the one with a very open design and its all embrodiered with string and its either white or the same color as the dress. The more popular option is the open design which in my opinion is way better then the intricate one cuz the string is just too thin on those dresses. Either way, everyone thinks that I hate shopping and don't enjoy it much but really I do enjoy it, and honestly I love it. I just feel pressured because for example that day me and my aunt went, I got this white and pink floral dress and I loved it hoenstly, and it was nice and my aunt just let me get it cuz idk I took a few dresses out and whatnot that she'd already subtly said no to I guess and she just felt bad. idk honestly. Though the moment we got home, everyone just labeled that dress as the one that was not as great. I liked it though cuz its something thats like daily wear. I mean the other dresses were all party wear clothes, and this is the only one thats like daily wear. Also I don't see a problem with it. 
  Also I like jewelry shopping as well like a lot. I love to buy those cute necklaces and those braceletes and rings and earrings. I bought like a ton of earrings today for me and my friends and I can't wait to wear them. They're so stunning and pretty. I love rings especially and I have two real gold rings and one sterling silver ring. I have other rings that are like artifical and I love those as well. My mom wont let me get many rings though cuz she says that you have to be married or something but I love rings and I wish I could get more. I want like a nice ruby ring and also like a square cut diamond with a silver band or something. Idk even a cute cirlce would look nice. Typically I go for more elegant and small cuts cuz I think that its mroe elegant but I want like a bigger or like a medium sized diamond one day and a large ruby lol. 
  I love purses as well. I wanted to get a kashmiri bag but yeah that didn't happen but they look so gorgeous though, and every purse has like its own pretty detail and design and they just look so unique. I mean you wont get to go to a store like that in Saudi or America and that was probs one of the few chances I'm gonna get unless I come back next year or something. Idk I kinda wish my grandma had come cuz I know I somehow would've gotten a purse if she came. She always gets me purses and she actually did gift me a plain white purse with gold on it jsut a few weeks ago, but she also likes Kashmiri bags and if she came, we both could've gottne some cute ones together. It's honestly kinda sad but yeah, and well I wanted cotton candy at the end, but my mother had said that I'd gotten like a dress and shoes already with all my gifts for my friends so no which Icl I was kinda mad about cuz I was starving and didn't have food or water for like 4.5 hours, but whatever. No point in arguing with my mom anways. 

  I'm leaving India today and I'm kinda sad about it because I feel the least stressed here. When I'm in India, I don't really think about my tests or my exams or anything like that. Besides, I get to sleep upstairs in the guest room myself and I get the queen sized bed all to myself and it feels good. I feel like I have some sense of privacy which in Saudi, I don't get very often. I have to share my room with my younger brother whose almost 10 and I don't really like it. He's a scaredy cat and can't even be in a room alone during the day himself and my parents kinda just tell me that he's young, doesn't understand, that I have to be patient with him, etc; so I'm just stuck dealing with it, and sure I get the whole be patient with him, but I'm not his parent and I don't wanna deal with this and hold his hand through life every step of the way. I have my own life. In India, he has our cousins and their are maids so he's preoccupied and I don't have to deal with any tantrums and it feels so like relaxing. I mean its annoying though cuz if I told my mom that, she'd say that I don't do anything, even though just the other day, when I gave my coke or something to my younger cousin sister, my mom went on about how I'm "used to making sacrifices because of my younger brother" and then told my aunts about the time I was starving and still gave half my burger to my younger brother because he was also hungry even though he already had his whole burger. It just seemed strange to me in the moment. 
  Anyways we're leaving India tonight and going back to Saudi. Our flight is at 10PM so we're gonna leave by 6:30. I'm not gonna go to school tomorrow even though I have a test. I didn't study much for math and well I don't know much about the unit itself so I'm just taking it next week on Monday and if I utilize my time well enough, I should be fine. 
  

  Finally arrived in Saudi today. We arrived late at 2 AM or so. The plane ride was nice I guess because I read the whole time. I read the last book of the Inhertitance games trilogy, The final Gambit and it was really interesting. Also our flight was kinda delayed so I had a lot of down time on the plane. It was a 4 hours and 40 minutes flight I think but I think we landed 20 or 30 minutes later or something. I read on my kindle and yeah it was good. I finished the book like 5 or 7 minutes before we landed at the Dammam airport so that was honestly great. I'm gonna read the rest of the books later. Maybe I'll start a little bit of The Brothers Hawthorne today. Before I study cuz I also have to lock in for Math today. 
  I didn't go to school since I ended up sleeping cuz we arrived late home and I wanted to shower as well. I felt dirty after we got off the plane so when we got home, I helped my mother unpack a little from the cartons and then went to shower. I probably slept around 4AM and then technically I wake up for school at 6AM and I'm at the bus stop by 6:45, but I'd get little to no sleep and yeah I technically also had a test today in Math but didn't study at all and don't feel prepared anyways. So yeah, buying myself more time and waiting till Monday so that I can take the test then. He said it's fine to take it during class on Monday, and its the last test that I have to take and I'm done for at least another month probs. That means I have about 5 or so days to study effectively including today, and two of those days are the weekend so I think I'm good hopefully. I just have to practice and practice and practice but in sha Allah I'm good.
  Week after next week, we have WOW week trips. So the kids who signed up for an international trip are gonna go and everyone else is gonna stay behind and during that week, we don't do anything academic. We do "fun stuff". I mean truthfully, they are fun. Only two out of the four days are really. One day is kinda a free day, the other day is some community building day which Is boring, and then we do an off campus activity for the other two days. We also get a long weekend that week, so thats why we go to school for only 4 days that week. The two off campus for 10th graders are I think Escape room which Im not sure how they're executing that with such a big grade. I mean we go in cohorts of like 40-60 people but only about 4-6 people can be in each escape room at once, and typically, each escape room takes an hour. So Idk how its all gonna play out. The other thing is that we go to a farm. I'm not sure if we're gonna do that this year though, but I heard that the 10th graders last year enjoyed it so Idk. I went on a trip last year to Croatia and Bosnia but my friends who stayed did Go Karting and went to some climbing place. The thing is that it was rainy and I heard that the Go Karting wasn't that great or something. Idk like they didn't really get to do that many rounds but I mean that's expected since It's the school whose paying and stuff. We haven't really gotten that much information on what its gonna be like this year honestly. I do know that we're doing the escape room, but I don't know what the other off campus activity is honestly so we'll see. 
  There is this compassion summit thats happening this year in Mumbai and idk if I wanna go. Though idk what its really supposed to be honestly. Like you make solutions to real world issues or something but thats kinda MUN and idk I hate MUN cuz politics isn't my thing anyways. Figured that out the hard way. Anyways, when I was in India, I met my great grandmothers half brother, which I didn't know that he was her half brother. I mean like I knew they were siblings, but I didn't know that they had different mothers. Apparently, my great grandmas mom died when she was really young and her dad wanted help raising his daughter but by someone close and in the family and someone his daughter was already familiar with, so he married my biological great great grandmas younger sister and that women is my great grandmas half brothers mom or smth. Idk It's kinda weird to marry your wives younger sister, but I mean I get it for that time in India, things like that were definitely normal, and it def wasn't a love marriage or anything either. Our family is honestly so strange honestly and apparently my great grandmas dad, the one who married his wives younger sister, was actually the first optometrist in Hyderabad so that's pretty cool. 

  Yeah so I just took a shower, just a body bath and I feel much better. I've changed into like proper day clothes lol. I've been in my pjs all day lol. I just checked my gradebook and well I was hoping that I'd have all A's but honestly, I knew I didn't get an A on my chemistry test. I honestly had an idea that I did pretty bad and I got a C which is slightly better then my formative grades. Honestly, I didn't understand much this unit so yeah. It's fine since I have a chance for Math anyways. I'm not expecting to study much today because we only came just today early morning anyways so yeah I'm tired. I'll either wake up early tomorrow morning and study a bit, or I'll study an hour today but really I don't think I'll be able to do more then that which is honestly fine.
  Also I took a body bath today. It felt good. I exfoliated, mosturized with body wash, exfoliated my face, used my nathabit moringa cream facewash afterwards, then lotioned my whole body and my face. It felt good, like a reset almost I guess. When we were in India, we went to the clinic because at the nape of my neck, it was super itchy and it was burning so bad, and so we went and they said that the spot was inflamed and that I had scalp psoarisis which is apparently genetic and a life long condition. They said that the only thing I can do is manage it and contain it by keeping myself mosturized and by oiling my hair every night, which Is fine. I can do that. Just some light oiling everyday with heavy oiling on thursday night so that I wash off on Friday is fine. The only problem is my lips cuz they're always chapped and broken I guess and I need to find a good mosturizing balm. I mean for me, drinking 3 liters of water is just unrealistic. I mean the doctor said that I should drink that much water, but usually I'm so stressed in the day, I just kinda forget and don't drink much, so yeah gotta work on that. In the meantime, I need a good mosturizing lip balm that'll keep them less chapped and heal them a little bit. 
  Also about Mumbai, I've kinda decided not to go, but I'm filling out a form to attend this pre-college program in Notre Dame and Idk If I'm gonna get in but I wanna try. Also I'm gonna apply to Brown Universities as well. I know they have a good acceptance rate and honestly, I think my essays will be pretty good. Grades are fine as well, and my GPA is decent so it's fine. I hope I get to go somewhere but these programs are also pretty expensive but my dads willing to pay for them so we'll see. Yeah but it's probs insane though for international students like me so we'll see. 
  Me and my dad are about to go drop sweets off at peoples houses so I gtg. Lol bye. 

  I'm at school. It's weird cuz I woke up at 6AM today to get ready for school and it was still dark. Honestly, I didn't actually get out of bed till 6:25 honestly once sunlight started peeking through the room. I'm so tired and I wanna go back home to the comfort of my bedroom again and just go back to sleep but can't. I'm in first period and the teacher is sick so we have a sub, so it's basically a free period. So now work or anything to do, but yeah I have to start studying for AP World, APES, and do Math studying. Apparently the test was hard so I gotta study. It probably feels harder cuz we're doing the test after break, but in sha Allah, I get an A. 

  My birthday is coming up soon. Febrary 2nd. I wanna go to a restaurant but honestly, I don't think I really wanna take most of my friends. No offense but Alia (name changed) she's always going on about how it's either too expensive, it's bad, or something else and she's honestly always judgemental. It's my birthday and I just wanna do what I want. Besides, my birthday is on a Monday and well that's a weekday and that means that I have school so It'll be tough planning something. Besides, even if I do go out with friends, It'll be complicated and I'm not waiting for every single person to be free just because. Honestly, I think I'll just not do anything. If I do, I'll do it with my cousin and her family. We can all go to a restaurant the night of my birthday, and me and her can have a sleepover or something. Go to the kings park or the com or something. 
  I don't hope for much from most of my friends honestly. I cant lie, some of my friends, I don't think I'll be friends with them for that long. They don't really care about me. They're kinda just there for surface level stuff and honestly, they didn't even bother really to reach out to me last year. I mean I was out of it myself, though Alissa (also name changed) did reach out and yeah obviously she couldn't do much for me, but still she always asked how I was and well I don't really hold that same expectation for my friends anyways, but it hurts when they make jokes about how I'm "always sad" and then laugh. Like they know I'm sad but rather then being concerned, they're laughing. I'd prefer if they just didn't say anything at all. I mean, when they're crying over their bad scores, I'm always the first one to give them a glass of water and to comfort them, but if I get a bad score, they're the first ones to laugh and make jokes about it. It hurts and I don't wanna be surrounded by people who are so judgy and rude for the rest of my life, and I'm honestly just slowly distancing myself. I don't think I'll invite them for anything on my birthday. If I do something, it's either with my cousin or closer friends or something. 

  I hope chemistry doesn't take long today. 
 Lucky me, we're only doing the worksheets today. 

 We're actually having a free period since she's doing some bump assignment or something. It's like some bonus assignment but I wasn't here last class cuz I was still in India, so I'm not eligible. My grade is alreayd an A so I'm not too worried anyways lol. Probs shouldn't be cupsing in school, but honestly half of today has literally been free periods so this is basically the most productive thing I can do right now anyways. 

I'm hungry and I forgot to pay for my hoodie for best Buddies. Today was the last day and I had to get money from friends. I had 50, another one of my friends had like a 50 and the other gave 80 so I gotta pay them back soon. But yeah, that 50 I used was my lunch money 😭

It's fine, cuz I got some bread thingy. I was supposed to bring some snack thing we got from India, but I got out of bed way too late and didn't have the chance to get it. I'll do it like on Sunday when we have school again (And yes, for anyone whose reading, I have school on Sunday. In Saudi, the weekends are Friday and Saturday.) 

  Yeah so I had a party last night. One of my second cousins got married. I mean its been almost a year now I think, but I mean they're still like the newest wed couple in our family and we're pretty close to them ***. We're gonna go to Dinner with them tonight but idk. Things just feel strange in my family like our dynamics and idk families are just weird I guess. 

Also, my mom actually booked an appointment for me with a doctor so I can finally tell them all about my stomach issues and how my stomach hurts when I wake up in the morning even when I don't eat anything, but when I do, like when I have my croissant, cereal, etc; my stomach hurts and then I have like a sudden urge to go, and stuff. Also about how certain foods like Biryani and Nihari are like impossible to eat because they make my stomach feel like its on fire, and like also milk and stuff like make me have to go. Also the fact that when I do feel that pain, I get these intense painful cramps, and the only way to relieve it is if I go, but it takes me at least 20-25 minutes and that's quite long, especially things like anxiety triggers it and makes it 100x worse, and I start feeling super hot and idk like light headed, and even after, like I feel super exhausted and my thighs and calves feel super sore and just overall I feel really fatigued.