The complexities of life

The complexities of life stress me out. The ‘need to be’ the ‘need to show’ the ‘need to have’ and ‘the need to tell’ frustrates me to my inner core. It’s not about not wanting to have a career, not wanting to get married, not wanting to have friendships, not wanting plots of land and any other grandeur thing one can think of. I work hard, I have a lot of activities and work, some paid, some not. This is about ‘the need to put on a show…for the whole world to see’. For the whole world to say ‘yes, you are now one of us’. One of us, what does that even mean? One does need money to live, a house to sleep, eat and rest, a car to get around, food to eat, toiletries to wash, and as a woman beauty products, have some splashing cash to go out with friends, or a boyfriend/partner. This isn’t what this is about. This is about ‘the need to put on a show’. Why does it ‘really matter?’ Is everyone going to like me more just because I have all of these things? Is my value as a person decreas just because I don’t? Have I become a worthless being if I ever become unemployed? Would it be better to stay at a dead end job that ‘doesn’t really matter’ and pretend that ‘this has become my identity?’ This isn’t my identity. Does anyone else get this? You are not your job! People are so much more than their jobs! They are more than ‘parents caring for their children’ or ‘other family members’. Who are we without all these things? What are we without all these things? This is what is more important. Not ‘all of that other stuff’. Then there’s that whole thing about ‘what are you passionate about?’ I still have yet to find a way to turn ‘that’ into a ‘permanent income’. Just to cut things short, is anyone really ‘really’ happy where they are in life or is this all just a facade everyone puts on in order to pretend that ‘we have it all together?’ The highest deception of all. The pretension of ‘the perfect life’.