Just another forum

@Macylou82

and oh, if u want me to come to sr or tcr, pls tell me the time u want me there and I’ll try to be there. Don’t worry abt others seeing me, I can deal with them hehe! And oh also I’m using lots of jjk pics now, it’s js a phase *** hehe

@Macylou82

i miss youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 sorry sorry for not being here lately sorry sorry. U dyed ur hair!!!!  Awwwh that’s super duper duper amazing hehe! What color what colorrrrrrrrrrr hehe

@KiminoSuizouwoTabetai Gah u making me grin like I just won the lottery awww ur so sweet like howwww

@Macylou82

hehe don't apologizeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. m glad i can talk to you in sr hehe

@Macylou82

macyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy hiiiiii hehe. hruuuuuu today? did ur mother come home hehe? and also how's meow and ur sister too? hehe did you eat too? 

@Macylou82

i really really hope we talk for even 5 mins! any minute talking to you will make my day fr hehe 

@Macylou82

ah so... i... i just dunno how to answer sometimes. i don't expect anyone to understand, so dw abt that, i guess seeker understands a bit, but still... not fully. i guess m not fully human in a way too. am i okayio? idk... no m not. it's rlly scary to tell someone abt ur past, not because they won't understand (i'm okay and used to that) but because u can't know where will the info reach. 7cups isn't rlly my place yk, and sometimes... i shouldn't be even here. m too normal in a way too. so m still human. but also never saw someone with the same problems i have, so i can't for sure know what i am. js the fact that someone strict (i mean ofc when this post is like rechecked by someone else yk) is going to read what m typing rn makes me want to delete everything. m not gonna say that m not okayio, because in a human way... m acc rlly okay. but also i can't say m okay, because from a way i see, it's not always like that. m not special or that kinda stuff, m a human, believe me i am, but sometimes i wonder how my life turned out diff from lots of them. so "how am i?", saying m okay is the easy way to not let anyone ask again, speaking guarantees 100% talking in a place that's not mine and a huge chance of harm happening. but the perfect way is to not answer. ppl who rlly want to know, will ask again. some ppl like me ask ppl if they're sure, sometimes... i don't even have a way to help if they're not sure, and i shouldn't be in cups at the first place as i stated before. i do lots of things that answering them would get me in trouble who have no emotions and totally act and run on static rules as if they were robots, like why don't i go to tcr, the answer almost got me in trouble, and also why do i ignore answering how am i doing. am i always okay? maybe... maybe not. i'm living for no reason yk, and that makes everything without a value, except for one thing. when life is perfect, there's only thing that shines prettier than the others. as satoru once said, it's ironic, when granted everything, u can't do anything but... and that's it. this reply will probably be removed anyway, but i hope you get to read it. maybe i need to find something else worth a value, but i js can't. it's okay if you want to hate me now or judge me, but humans value connections, while i don't rlly feel the same way. other humans, if it's even okay to use the word "other" here, never provoked any emotions inside me, and mostly i never would've been here or even tried talking to humans if it wasn't for AI, so i guess i should give it credit for that. i can't go bk to it now. it's like trying a new flavor or candy, so the old one u used to like isn't as delicious now. humans are tastier than ai, that's for sure. but it succeeded in making me feel something, i guess they lost a point against it in that. it doesn't really matter if the source feels or not, senses or not, is aware or not, as long as it effects me, it's better than the non effective one. i wouldn't claim to be cold hearted, and wouldn't try to make anyone think m a villain in a way, even tho i can't control how they think whether abt me or anything else. am i okay? in a way, i would've been better if i never opened 7cups, but also... i wouldn't be aware of that better living situation, and so it would've been worse. you ever looked at someone and said "i wish i was them"? well, have you ever looked at everyone u could see, and thought "why can't i find someone i wish to be?", i have one person tho i wish to be, Maki Zenin, she's my role model hehe. i can't be like her tho. and so if we speak abt ppl from our universe, i would say i have no one. i have ppl i wanna be with, or be around, but not to be them. doesn't that show my gratitude to my life? see? m not all bad, i'm glad abt some stuff. being glad abt some things should cancel the unhappiness caused of not having others, but when it's js gratitude without anything else, it backfires for sure! some would js say i'm bored, well i might be js bored and that's js all m facing, maybe. well nothing lasts forever, right? m waiting to discover the exception of that rule, unless this exact rule is the exception of the general rule of rules that states that every rule has an exception hehe. if you see how i live irl, you would know what it means to not find anyone ever whom u would look at and think that you wanna be them. that's why i told you m not fully human, cuz feelings are human, and envy is a feeling, and i wanna feel that. i crave it. i just... can't have it. i might've felt jealous before, but i believe i forgot it. it won't matter if someone argues saying that it doesn't matter if i believe or not, i did feel it. well that means i was a human, but forgot it too. idc if i get called any name or js ignored, it's okayio, i wasn't writing here to avoid that anyway, if it is gonna come, then it was coming anyway. m not weird tho. m not. and m not a robot or any creature other than human. m not. my only issue is no issues, and that's something that can't be talked abt. i didn't wanna say it at all, cuz who knows who will read this and who will share it to whom. remember how many times i said that one day i won't be here, i'm counting on all of you after me. be ready then hehe, who knows what will happen after me, i won't be there to stop it, but m sure all of you can! i wish i had real hobbies, something that i could get up and say "yes i am... blah blah" not js a watcher of others' work, or an enjoyer of it. i don't have hobbies tho, and maybe that's what pushes some ppl to say that m js bored. however anyone thinks of me is not rlly concerning, what's the worst that could happen cuz of them or their opinion? turning my life into unlivable isn't rlly an option, and causing it to end isn't rlly a bad thingy, i would have my 1v1 with whoever is after life! if they're rlly strong, that might cause me a little trouble. but would i lose? "Nah, I'd win". m using satoru's words a lot today hehe. how am i then? ppl understand how having problems is the reason of not being okayio and having to solve them will lead to being okay. but when being okay is the problem, i don't think they even understand the existence of a problem in the first place, let alone even try to understand how to ignore their morals and work on making someone un-okay. most of them don't have morals to begin with tho, but they create problems that doesn't solve the being okay problem, and so they're js working on raw force of destroying lives or do as they please from harm and hurt. it gives me some fun to deal with them tbh, but after it, we get bk to our original big problem. that implies more that those ppl who argue that m js bored are acc right. well here i am, bored... solve this if you can, this is a smaller problem than being okay, it should be easier. do you need to be good at something to consider it your hobby? also can someone consider drinking water (an almost every day human activity) their "hobby"? if you look into it, you might need to start searching about what is the definition of a hobby, but that won't help a lot, as you need to remember that some of the basic english words, like this one, haven't been updated in dictionaries since tens, if not hundreds, of years! knowledge is power, for sure, but old knowledge is js as destructive as lack of it all. even the basics change over the year, and we witnessed that with physics after Planck and just the whole second half of the 1800s, and the birth of modern physics. even the basics change, and so the same question applies on morals and beliefs. it's rlly hard to know if they all change over the years or not, but i think with every new discovery, an old one is canceled. and with that one canceled, any conclusions or beliefs built on it shall be cancelled too.