Me and myself

Well today was boring I saw a vid and a reel made me feel something and bring memories and grief how things should be or I wish things turn back how they were but it too late now I just felt terrible for seeing it so I just come here to forget about it and idk it really sad to see some people also here not active as much and I understand that I just wish I could have friends or just one friend or two to share stuff every day but I feel it impossible I never made new friends is real life and I don’t know what to feel about that I say sometimes it okay I love being alone but sometimes no I miss a connection, affection and even i sometimes forget how to laugh or act around real life person so I’m used to online people but most of them I lost them for big reasons nothing last forever not even real life friends or online so I just don’t know anymore I just talk with myself or just maybe one day I could have pets to talk to it will be nicer I wish life was easy for me to find connections after lost one but I g that it maybe that how things should meant to go or be.

And also it @yorsunshine17 lol sry

I wish someone could understand me without I explain myself it really hard to do so

It been a boring day idk what I feel my throat is kinda sore and I can’t breathe normally I feel hot a lot my body feel suffocated and I can’t study normally I just do work and lay down maybe I need to change my body but I can’t do rn I’m so tired and sick even resting sounds awful I don’t want to rest forever I want to be active person go out do sports maybe walk to the beach and even more stuff but the only thing I have is my room and walls it really suffocates me and my body even eating becomes horrible I can’t taste food or get exited I just eating I force myself to eat so I won’t get hungry but idk I feel I lost the appetite i lost the desire to change my body I want to but the things around me don’t help it really sad when u want to do something but u can’t bc u are tired I mean tired of resting I don’t wanna rest much longer I wanna talk with people do stuff in my life make new progress change my life but it seems I can’t balance that it just fall apart..